@georgediano First time getting a job, after kitu 5 months I furnished my crib at Tsavo so well....
PS4, TCL 43' inch, Home theatre, Samsung Galaxy s22, 2 laptops and other essential electronics
MARTHA WANJIRU MURUGI from Uthiru, shetani akulaani wewe and your whole generation
A certified mumu by the name Jonte is currently breathing fire like a komodo dragon after he invited a yellow-yellow damsel by the name Ifra Olang, to his humble hacienda in Roysambu for what he thought would be a night of merrymaking, bonding, and advanced studies in horizontal engineering.
According to intelligence reports from the Department of Men Affairs here at Kalahari Desert University of Science Technology (K-DUST), Abebo arrived at around 11 p.m. looking innocent enough to be mistaken for a church treasurer.
Our boy immediately switched into husband material mode and prepared a five-star meal featuring Ugali Obambo and premium Kanamba Specioo as the two irrigated their throats while discussing matters of national importance.
Knowing that the night ahead would require strength, stamina & dedication to duty, Jonte reportedly demolished a mountain sized ugali that could comfortably feed a family of six. The boy wanted enough reserves in the tank before kick-off.
Unfortunately, while our son of the soil was busy seasoning meat in the kitchen, Abebo was busy seasoning his drink with the legendary Pishori from KEMSA not mwea. Moments after washing his hands, Jonte started seeing marudurudu. Before he could say "nionjeshe zigo”, he was already halfway to Dreamland negotiating land rates with his forefathers.
Several hours later, he woke up with the energy of a he goat and immediately noticed that his Hacienda was half empty. Abebo had already completed the illegal asset recovery mission and left the venue.
After conducting a quick inventory, Jonte discovered that his 55 inch Samsung TV had secured a transfer, his laptop had migrated, and his OPPO A34 had answered the call of destiny. Yani alimuacha akiwa matako wazi kabisa,, Chesaa!!
Witnesses say the man sat on the edge of the bed staring into the abyss like a philosopher who had just discovered that free things are the most expensive things on earth. Jonte is now appealing to members of the public, village elders, nyumba kumi officials & the ICC for any information that may lead to the whereabouts of the lady so that his electronics can return home safely.
Meanwhile, other men have also emerged claiming that they were also enrolled into the same clearing and forwarding program by Abebo. Investigations indicate that Abebo holds a PhD in Logistics and Supply Chain Management, specializing in Household Asset Relocation.
However, now that the matter has officially reached the Chairperson of Walala Hoii, my intelligence team has assured me that her 40th day is approaching faster than ever before. Huyu tutashika yeye very soon,, Chesaa! Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀
It was raining, so I boarded a boda.
The rider kept telling me, “Kaa karibu kidogo na unishikilie.” I refused because I know some of their tricks,unnecessary braking every few seconds to feel your boobs.
We reached a muddy, flooded road and the boda hit something.
Next thing I knew, I was floating on air.💀
I landed perfectly in the mud like I was auditioning for a wrestling match .
The rider looked back, saw what had happened, then accelerated and disappeared.
He didn't even wait for his fare. 😭😭💀
Iran fired 11 ballistic missiles at Israel today. Each one of those missiles can level an entire neighborhood and kill hundreds. No self-respecting country in the world would tolerate such an attack, and neither will Israel.
Israel is now targeting Iranian surface-to-surface missile launch sites, as well as infrastructure facilities unrelated to the energy sector.
The people of Lebanon have rejected Iran’s proxy, Hizballah, and have told Iran to get out of their country.
If Hizballah fires at Israel, its command centers in the Dahiya will be hit hard.
This has nothing to do with Iran.
Everyone has had enough of this maniacal Iranian regime.
@israelititan The actions of Hamas on October 7, Hezbollah’s continuous rocket fire and, Iran’s recent strikes were all launched with full awareness of the inevitable consequences. Painting Israel as the villain ignores the deliberate choices made by the adversaries to trigger conflict.
We found evidence of construction going on inside the Nairobi National Park but @KWSKenya just confiscated our drone. Currently protests by lobby groups and environmentalists are going on over the construction.