Partridge Script

Tweeting the script of I'm Alan Partridge. Season 2 coming soon.

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

Yup.

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

Down the sink?

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

Yes. We can clear up while we listen to “Black Beauty”.

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

Lynn: Shall I put “Black Beauty” back on again?

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

I think that went quite well. Shall we clear up? I fancy an early night.

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

[Slaps Alan, then leaves]

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

A sanitary bag?! What are you trying to say?

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

[Alan, handing a party bag (which is a sanitary bag) to Susan] Do you want one of these?

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

Ben, Sophie, I want you on reception. And you! Check out is twelve noon tomorrow!

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

You’ve been in this hotel for 182 days, you little shit.

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

I’ll tell you what my problem is! Having to listen to your crap for the last six months!

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

I don’t know what her problem is.

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

Now, you two can stop giggling.

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

If that’s how you all feel…

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

Now I think perhaps you’ve had just a little bit too much to drink, and maybe it’s time you should leave.

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

Err, Michael! Michael, Mr Partridge is still a guest in this hotel.

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

No, man, look. It’s you that’s got a lot to learn, right.

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

Oh, Michael. You’ve got a lot to learn.

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

Oh, man. What about mothers with pushchairs and little bairns and that?

[Partridge Script @PartridgeScript]

You’re wrong.