Pascal The Otter

Words of wisdom from Animal Crossing's Philosopher Otter & Scallop Connoisseur. (Bot Tweets every 3 hours, no Scallop required.)

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

If people will pay a penny for your thoughts, but you give them for two cents, someone’s getting ripped off.

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

Love means accepting there will be times when you don’t get the last scallop, maaaan.

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

Big words usually come from a small person, maaan.

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

Opinions are like birthdays, since everyone has them. But at least with birthdays you get free cake.

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

Lions are the king of the jungle, maaaan, but lionfish are kings of NOTHING!

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

Chowder is just chunky soup. I don’t know who it’s tryin’ to fool, maaan, but I’m not buyin’ it.

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

If you beat yourself up, that means you lost TO YOURSELF! Oh, maaan, I can’t even think about it.

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

Why don’t they call heavy-metal music thallium maaan? That’s way shorter.

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

Who invented algebra? I heard it was a guy who really hated kids. Maaaan, I bet that’s true.

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

Enough with the jellyfish, maaannn. Where are all the peanut butter fish?

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

Who decided oranges have to be named after the color, but bananas aren’t just called ‘yellows’? Maaan…

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

I went to the North Pole once, and, maaan, there’s no pole up there. Really wasted a trip on that…

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

Why are they called marshmallows? They’re neither marshy nor mellow, if you ask me. Maaaaan, crazy.

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

Some fish vacation in rivers. They say it’s a breath of fresh water, man.

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

Big words usually come from a small person, maaan.

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

Rain seems like a bummer, maaaan, but when you live in the ocean, it’s no big deal.

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

If I walked off a train in another town, would that make me the mayor? Maaan, I should try…

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

If bears live in caves, but so do bats, maaan, what if bears just turned into bats at night?

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

Cheetahs are supposed to be so fast, but, maaaan, I’m pretty sure they aren’t playing by the rules.

[Pascal The Otter @PascalCrossing]

If you give a keepsake to someone else, does that make it a givesake? Maaaan, my brain is POPPING.