Pat-Pat The Comic

Aspiring Stand Up comedian and comedy writer. Follow for a good laugh or insight.

[Pat-Pat The Comic @Pat_PatTheComic]

Have you ever noticed when you say Hans Solo, it sounds like you are saying Hung So Low. This would be a great porn star name. Dark Invader.

[juicy j @therealjuicyj]

Wake up wake up its time to get me some $$$$

[WKRN News 2 @WKRN]

Will verdict stand in the high-profile Vanderbilt rape case? http://t.co/MLvHH1dydL

[comedycentral @ComedyCentral]

Tom's million-dollar idea #OfficeSpace.

[CNN @CNN]

Rapper Rick Ross was arrested in Georgia on allegations of marijuana possession: http://t.co/F0930uVUin

[WKRN News 2 @WKRN]

#Uber offers helicopter rides to #Bonnaroo: http://t.co/s1FPke5Lx7 #what

[WKRN News 2 @WKRN]

JUST ANNOUNCED: Nashville is set to have the biggest 4th of July fireworks show IN THE NATION http://t.co/4n78cs4zsZ

[SportsCenter @SportsCenter]

After scoring 40 points tonight, LeBron James now has the most points ever scored in 1st 3 games of NBA Finals.

[Comedy Central Stand-Up @standup]

.@realjeffreyross finds out that crime does pay. Preview #JeffRossRoastsCriminals: http://t.co/kQldOU28Tp

[SportsCenter @SportsCenter]

Diamondbacks select Vanderbilt’s Dansby Swanson with No. 1 pick in MLB Draft… and his teammates reaction is awesome! http://t.co/Yy15xFeMHI

[Pat-Pat The Comic @Pat_PatTheComic]

So a hickey is when you suck on someone's neck, but I want to make a new one, where if you do it & also have Herpes, we'll call it a Hurkey

[Pat-Pat The Comic @Pat_PatTheComic]

@TheEllenShow what would you call Will Smith if he were very indecisive? Will Smith ___?

[Pat-Pat The Comic @Pat_PatTheComic]

@TheEllenShow what would you call Bill Burr if he preformed in Alaska? Bill Burrrrurrrrrurrrr!

[Pat-Pat The Comic @Pat_PatTheComic]

@TheEllenShow what would you call Tom Green if he were African American instead of Canadian? Tom Green! Don't be racist!

[Pat-Pat The Comic @Pat_PatTheComic]

I just ate dinner at the Chinese buffet,& I must say that the Filet-Of-Stray was much better than the Collie-Hit-By-Trolley, or Slab-Of-Lab

[Pat-Pat The Comic @Pat_PatTheComic]

@TheEllenShow What would you get if you cloned a bunch of Emilio Estevez's? A-million Estevez's!

[Pat-Pat The Comic @Pat_PatTheComic]

@TheEllenShow what would you call Rudolf if he were gay? Rudolf The Red Nosed Gay-Deer!

[Pat-Pat The Comic @Pat_PatTheComic]

@TheEllenShow what do you call Tom Hanks in prison? Tom Shanks!

[Pat-Pat The Comic @Pat_PatTheComic]

@TheEllenShow what do you call Kim Kardashian with butt implants? Kim Kard-ASS-ian

[Pat-Pat The Comic @Pat_PatTheComic]

@ComedyCentral @ReddsAppleAle mine would be "off in the shower", that way if I lost, they have to tell ppl they beat off in the shower