Pato Rastyle

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[Naomi Waithira @Naomikibandi]

In reality like in real life kuna Baby Mamas Kama Mama Ryan hii Kenya ama wanatuonea tuu bure.

[Wambo @BoboWamboiKuria]

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Government of William Ruto. The Government of Divide and Rule. He learnt it from Moi now he uses his appointed PS's and CS's to Divide their people and the region's they come from. This is a PS addressing a CS Both from Central Kenya. Nîcìúmbúrane!

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

Dad pranks his daughter with fake interview.

[Francis Gaitho @FGaitho237]

Ruto Booed At State House: Marsabit and Moyale Residents Reject Imaginary Projects and Mandazi Bribes

Residents of Marsabit and Moyale counties were herded to State House Nakuru yesterday like livestock for a so-called briefing on “development projects” by the British-backed war criminal and mass murderer William Ruto.

The moment the pathological liar opened his mouth - peddling fantasies about imaginary projects and shamelessly trying to steal credit for the Isiolo-Moyale highway built by Mwai Kibaki, the crowd erupted in boos, exposing the emperor’s nakedness.

Unable to stomach the barrage of empty rhetoric, the fed-up residents turned rowdy, forcing Ruto’s security to violently evict them from the venue.

They stormed out in disgust, rightly decrying the utter waste of time and the insulting emptiness of the entire charade.

In classic Ruto fashion, the regime attempted to buy their silence with a pathetic handout of two thousand (2,000) shillings each, accompanied by a few mandazis and tea - the standard bribe for subjects expected to clap for their own oppression.

Pathetic.

[Yoko @Kibet_bull]

On Sunday KTN will be exposing how they’re hawking national IDs in preparation for tutam.

Ruto will burn down this country.

[Heisenberg @DrJuma_M]

CONFIRMED:Whatever Is Being Crafted by Uhuru is Enough to Cook Ruto.

[The Kenyan Vigilante @KenyanSays]

Meanwhile in Nairobi County yesterday, a Latema bus and an Audi were involved in an accident. A number of Kenyans believe the Audi driver was at fault here.

[Kenyan Memes Archive @satirekenya]

😂

[Yoko @Kibet_bull]

When Ruto told Kenyans that if he doesn’t perform, they look for someone else like Sifuna, Maraga, etc.

[Peris @Wambuib4sky]

This is the best skit I've seen from Jaymoh Decin 😂😂😂

[lolflix @lolflix_]

Heartbreak is real 🥲

[Mary Kathomi @MaryK2022]

I remember in the Moi days

He used to enjoy the comedy

It was not a big deal

Nyambane and akina KJ built careers from that comedy

[Vikram @Vikram10729557]

Divided by species United by problem 😂

[Eugie @WuodAbilla]

Luo culture is funny.

You must ponder the bean for good luck 😂😂

[Boniface @kilundeezy]

Nadeadi man 😂😂😂

[Kawangware Finest ™ - Geoffrey Moturi @cbs_ke]

From Archives: During Safari Rally.

Dusting off.

[Almamy Moha @AlmamyMoha_]

At this point, this guy should be given an award for successfully dodging arrest during the Ebola protests in Nanyuki.

[Prime Media News @primemediakenya]

A student Kama hakuna Half term ya 2 weeks shule Tutachoma ,exam ikuwe end term only, na wewe Ruto ni wantam kwanza

[ALEX @_alexnzoli]

ODI WA MURANG'A WAS JUST CHILLING 😂😂😂😂😂

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Son of Adonija is currently staring at an all-expenses-paid vacation at the Govt Owned Airbnb after being caught red-handed with Mali ya serkali in his humble hacienda. Instead of attending school and revising for exams, Daughter of Agrippina decided to enroll herself in practical lessons of extracurricular activities at Adonija's residence.

Unfortunately for our boy, the ever vigilant Nyumba Kumi intelligence sleuths spotted the young pikin making suspicious movements toward the slaughterhouse and immediately activated Operation Heri ukule Karo ya Shule Kuliko Caro Wa Shule.

Before Son of Adonija could even unpack his toolbox for a session of horizontal engineering, the long hands of the government stretched longer than a Safaricom network tower and grabbed him by the collar.

Sources indicate that our boy didn't even get the chance to warm up, let alone start the match, ndio alikua amevaa tu domcon.He is currently cooling his heels at the chief's camp, where he's receiving open air massage and life lessons while waiting for Mariamu's express transport service to ferry him to his official check-in destination.

There, he may qualify for a long-term residency program lasting not less than 20 years, complete with complimentary uniforms, strict meal schedules, and mandatory hard labor. Meanwhile, the Nyumba Kumi detectives are walking around the village like FBI agents after successfully completing their mission.

Our boy is now reflecting on his life choices and wondering why he didn't take matters into his own hands & assassinate the monkey instead of calling Abebo Nyama ndogo over.

May Yehova Wanyonyi remember the poor boychild as his Sundus faces external threats from kina Onyi pale Kamiti. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni kabisa, Letu Jicho tu.👀