Patrick Eiden

The rat controlling my body doesn’t know how to dance.

[Connor Ewing @ConnorMEwing]

I'm shocked—SHOCKED!—that the most subsidized generation in American history would like another subsidy.

[Daniel @psyceIIium]

If Wheel of Time gets cancelled I will become levels of insufferable you haven't seen from me since the Sense8 days. A warning.

[Patrick Eiden @PatrickEiden]

So my apartment flooded

[trash jones @jzux]

“those tattoos will make it harder to get a job” ok well so will my personality

[Vaush 📺 @VaushV]

Me getting ready to continue using Twitter’s biological name and pronouns

[soul khan, msw @soulkhan]

the airbnb collapse is so awesome and i hope every property owner has to sell at a gutwrenching loss to someone who might actually live in the fuckin place

[Pop Tingz @PopTingz]

A restaurant owner in Barcelona threw out Pique and his girlfriend because of his love for Shakira.

[morgan sung @morgan_sung]

sometimes i'm like why am i irrationally angry and then i'm like oh there's an overhead light on

[Sketel 🇯🇲 @rieslingbeauty]

I asked God to take the distractions out of my life, but I didn’t think he would’ve taken it this far. I didn’t mean Twitter lord 😭😭

[𝓝𝓮𝔀𝓼 Dan Scavino Jr.🇺🇸🦅 @DanScavinoTNews]

Good morning and Happy Hallow… https://t.co/n2ivn0hTjW

[Patrick Eiden @PatrickEiden]

@miahmoriarty So true, bestie

[Alistair's Great Tweets @YesitsAlistair]

Turning off Midnights and putting on the new Carly Rae Jepsen album instead https://t.co/agIprSARjc

[Laura Lux 🦖🪐 @darthlux]

i wish all people who bought 12 properties to turn into full time short term rentals and ruined the housing market a very bankruptcy 🤗

[greci @sandiacontajin]

officially old bc i did not get a single cocktober mass text

[ADHD Jesse @adhdjesse]

The ADHD screening test should just be "try to schedule an appointment for your ADHD screening."

[Sam Winkler @ThatSamWinkler]

The Slut Era is over. The Time of the Orc has come.

[Spac𝓮 ⭐️ @spaceeong]

the “devil’s lettuce” is coleslaw not weed