Patrick Star

Uh...

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

Is SpongeBob a hard worker? I don’t think so. Sponges are soft! He’s a soft worker.

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

How come Squidward gets to have a huge nose, and I get no nose at all? I smell unfairness – and I don’t even have a nose to smell it with!

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

It’s Laundry Day! But I only have one pair of shorts, so it is also … Naked Day!

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

SpongeBob and I don’t always see eye to eye. But if he stands on a crate, then we do.

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

Why do people go to night school? Isn’t it weird that there’s a whole school just for studying nighttime? What’s there to know, other than “it’s dark”?

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

I hear Saturday is a great day for outdoor activities. Let me know how that goes.

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

I’ve been called “Lazy” so many times, I’ve considered changing my name to “Lazy” ... but it just seems like too much effort.

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

Tuesday is my day for studying strange, gooey fluids, or as I like to call it, "Oozeday."

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

When it comes to math, I’m only good with round numbers. 0, 3, 6, 8, and 9 are fine. 1, 4, and 7: you confuse me! As for you, 2 and 5, make up your mind: are you round, or angular?

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

The clarinet is supposed to sound sweet. But when Squidward plays it, it certainly does not! Hopefully the cup of molasses I poured in there will help.

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

It’s Wednesday, and that means the trash man is coming … but I’m just not ready to part with this so-called “trash” just yet! Time to hide the garbage bin for another week.

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

SpongeBob told me love makes the world go around. Does that mean love is gravity? Heavy …

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

Working at the Krusty Krab would be very difficult! I don’t think I could just hand over all those yummy Krabby Patties … maybe if the customers let me take a bite of each one first, I’d be okay with it.

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

Squidward asked me, “Do I have to explain everything to you?” I have no idea what he means by that … should I ask him?

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

If Thursday is the new Friday, does that mean the old Friday is just taking a break? While he’s on vacation, I wouldn’t mind spending some time with Old Friday.

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

It’s important not to be narrow-minded. After all, your brain isn’t narrow – it’s round! So be round-minded.

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

When the chips are down, the best thing to do is just pick the chips up and eat them off the floor.

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

Is it Sunday? Is Sunday the end of this week, or the beginning of next week? Is time just a circle?? Is anything true?!? See, this is why I should never ask what day of the week it is.

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

I wish I were a pet — I’d have it so easy! Well, except for having to go for walks ... and grooming ... and getting shots at the vet. You know what? Never mind, I don’t want to be a pet anymore!

[Patrick Star @Patrick_Star]

There are some things you really shouldn��t try to catch with a jellyfishing net. For example: the bus. Now I know.