Patrick Ryan

Healing begins with compassion, knowledge and trust.🫁🩻💉

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it.

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

To all that wished me a Happy Birthday yesterday, either here or through texts and calls, it may seem a small thing but it is so very much appreciated.

Thank you all!

#onlyjoyonsocialmedia

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

I chide people every year when they say, "Ugh, last year sucked, next year will be much better," since it seems like the sentiment just repeats every year.

This year, however, a moratorium on the chiding is called, as 2020 was, indeed, a big ball of fart. The fartiest ball …

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

Apropos of nothing, I have just found myself singing "Private Pants" to the tune of Hall & Oates "Private Eyes".

Either 2020 has inevitably cracked me or, conversely, I have finally calibrated to it correctly.

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

Apropos of nothing, I have just found myself singing "Private Pants" to the tune of Hall & Oates "Private Eyes".

Either 2020 has finally cracked me or, conversely, I have finally calibrated to it correctly.

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

Happy 49th Birthday, Momma. 😉

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

If you feel any stress after hearing this track, I don’t need to know you.

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

Dad: Who farted?
Kid: Me.
Dad: You’re proud of that aren’t you?
Kid: I’m glad it is out of my butt.

#boysforever #fartsarealwaysfunny

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

Happy Mother’s Day to my Momma, my Sister and my boys’ Momma... three great Moms that do everything for their children. Love you all. ❤️

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

Today my co-workers staged an "office Olympics" 30 seconds after being told a conference call was going on. 6 times.

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

Jerry Seinfeld is 65 GD years old. Let that scramble your brain for a minute.

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

How does such a huge fart come out of such a tiny butt? #boydad

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

Dad (singing Dad song): 🎶 Get your schoolwork done, get your schoolwork done! And then you’ll have some fun when your schoolwork’s done! 🎶 - like my song?
Son: No.

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

Today my co-workers scheduled a "floor integrity check" on top of a conference call I was on. They brought in a herd of elephants to do the test, and despite the sound, apparently the floor held. #schoolfromhome

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

I may be wrong or reading into this, but I think the Earth may be trying to tell us something.

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

This is an old gem that still applies today.

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

Is it just me, or does anyone else make sure to quit Indesign or Illustrator or whatever at the end of the day, and sort of silently apologize to it for beating the snot out of it all day?

Anyone? Just me? #notenoughgooddesignjokes

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

An old friend of mine, Hannah (the friendship is old, not the friend) shared an idea – relate stories of working from home with your kids and family, but call them all "co-workers" instead. Let's see the hilarity ensue.

Yesterday my co-workers made a bar chart showing how m…

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

Who's got two thumbs and a child that spills ketchup on every shirt the first time he wears it? This guy! #boydad #ketchupisthedebil

[Patrick Ryan @Patrickryan1029]

I theorize that the timing of the boys' ability to "shut the door behind you" will also coincide with zipping pants, peeing behind closed doors and closing mouths while chewing... basically all the "closing" skills. #boydad