Paul B. Maples

Big hairy adventure dad. Just along for the ride.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

@WilliamPBrandt1 He's a little outlaw.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

How is water polo an Olympic sport but the beer mile isn't?

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

If the Loverboy concert cancelation does motivate guys my age to get vaccinated, nothing will.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

He's not just A Martinez. He's THE Martinez.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

The Ozark Mountains aren't really mountains. We all know that. But they focus-grouped "The Ozark Lumpiness" and it didn't test well.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

Why is the winner of the Miss Universe paegent always from Earth?

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

Our wine refrigerator now has a name: Jeremiah.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

If I had a camel I'd name him Glen. Glen Camel.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

I could get behind wearing a mask if they would make one with Molly Hatchet cover art graphics.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

If you're going to name your child "Xavier" please learn how to correctly pronounce it.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

@dirklawson_ You're going to have to work past this. In the eyes of most folks, you're too cool to be a doctor.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

Governor Parson has extended the state-wide stay-in-your-hot-tub order until May 3 and I intend to comply.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

Glad the taxpayers are no longer funding The WHO. The royalties from "Won't Get Fooled Again" and "Baba O'Reilly" should be more than enough to cover their budgets.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

@Steeeeve_ I'm an accountant. I'm still living in last year.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

I'm glad no one tried to pinch me today. I would have slugged them. I was in no mood to be trifled with.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

Why aren't Eugene Levy's eyebrows going gray like the rest of his hair? My eyebrows went gray when I was like eleven. #SchittsCreek

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

Exhibit B.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

I love Jimmy John's. But their slogan game is weak.

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

You'd think that the Springfield Business Journal would know the difference between a tax refund and a tax return. Sigh...

[Paul B. Maples @PaulBMaples]

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love's innocent gifting of birds and jewelry took a bizarre twist to human trafficking.