Paul Chang

Programmer extraordinaire, proud father of five, delicately balancing overly large head on shoulders

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

Can't count the number of times my wife thought there was a gas leak, when it was just my gas leak 😂

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

My 11-yr-old and 10-yr-old wrote a story about "Man-Spider". He was a normal spider, until suddenly bitten by a radioactive human. His only powers -- he now goes to business school, can work in a cubicle, and makes several workplace acquaintances. #mykidsarefunny #mykidsareweird

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

Just realized I was walking around all afternoon with my zipper undone. Fortunately, I work in Engineering, where we try not to make eye contact and stare only at our own feet when human contact is required (though usually avoided).

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

For those of you who live in California and own property, it might make sense to pay your second installment of property taxes before the year's end because of the $10K SALT limit. Also, a great time to get a divorce to spread the $10K SALT limit between two people. #GOPTaxPlan

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

On my way to BART, I saw a small circle of teens with their heads bowed in silence. I thought, oh, that's nice, a prayer circle. But upon closer inspection, I saw they were all just staring at their screens and texting. 😁 #WorshipThyPhone

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

Guy at McDonald's drive thru window just handed me my coffee and said, "I love you!" Told him, I love him, too, and fist-bumped. #ImLovinIt

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

If you're a straight, white, male Christian, don't worry, you'll be fine in Trump America. Everyone else, you're screwed. #ElectionNight

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

America showing its true colors: fearful, reactionary, racist, xenophobic, misogynistic, anti-intellectual, bigoted, gullible. #election2016

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

@cheeseboard Pizza of the Day: Cal. corn, pasilla pepper, onion, mozzarella, feta, garlic olive oil, cilantro, lime

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

Me: "Want help making that omelette?"
DD1: "No, thanks, I'm fine. I can make it myself."
Me: "Okay, OM-e-LETTE you do that then."
#DadJokes

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

The kids asked me if they could adopt 7 ponies. I said the social worker wouldn't allow it. Our house just isn't "stable" enough. #PonyJokes

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

You know you're drinking some *fancy* coffee when the coffee sleeve covers the entire cup! #JumboJavaJacket

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

Guy next to me on #BART train just farted then moved to another seat. Why people do that!? I can smell what he ate for lunch. Fried chicken.

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

Stuck in window seat of #BART train next to man-spreading, flatulent guy. Is it impolite to switch seats? All I can do is tweet about it. :(

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

He may be risen, but I, on the other hand, am having a more difficult time, at least until I get my coffee. #HappyPostEaster

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

Celebrating an intercalary day added to arbitrarily defined non-lunar month to correct offset of arbitrary calendar from astronomical year.

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

Boarding a crowded @SFBART train, why do some people sit in an aisle seat while leaving a vacant window seat? Oh, right, they're assholes.

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

Starting first day at my new job at @AlpineDataLabs ! Super excited! #FirstDayJitters

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

Happy #ColumbusDay! Celebrate by wandering into and "discovering" random homes, demanding gold, enslaving them, and spreading disease!

[Paul Chang @PaulTheBighead]

Blog post: Implementing John Conway's Game of Life in SQL using CTEs http://t.co/YAeliHWT6Z #JohnConway #CellularAutomata #Life #CTE #SQL