Law Paul

Real attorney, fake wings.
Motivated by caffeine and deadlines.
He/Him

[Law Paul @Paurtender]

@LizCGil Opening argument = the ol’ razzle dazzle.
Direct examination = exposition dump.
Cross examination = duet.
Evidence = props.
Closing argument = curtain call.
Verdict = reviews.
Appeal = broadway.
Supreme Court = traveling show.

[Dallin Drescher @SellersCounsel]

Life as a corporate lawyer

Monday: shoot I might run out of work soon what am I going to do
Tuesday-Sunday: I can’t keep up with all the work I have
Monday: oh no I might run out of work again what am I going to do

[Nintendo of America @NintendoAmerica]

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time will be reborn on Nintendo Switch 2 in 2026. #NintendoDirect

[Law Paul @Paurtender]

Dying of joy, RIP me.

[任天堂株式会社 @Nintendo]

時を超えて、蘇る。
Nintendo Switch 2 『ゼルダの伝説 時のオカリナ』は、2026年発売。続報をお待ちください。
#ゼルダの伝説 #時のオカリナ #NintendoDirectJP

[justin serb-ert 🇷🇸🍉 @markocantdunk]

Just finished reading Hemingway’s FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS and I had to stop and take a picture when I got to the famous line about the United States:

[Catsuka @catsuka]

Persepolis - Eye of the Tiger (2007)

[Hernandy D. Morales @hernandy_s]

The concept of spoiling a book older than the Bible

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@Kenn321705 I’ve never stolen an erection in my life.

[Keeks 🦋 @DietCoke_Esq]

I’m a professional bitcher. I get paid to bitch, and I also bitch for those that cannot bitch for themselves

[Meacham @MeachamDr]

It’s like a meth family moved in….

[Avidfilmbuff @avidfilm]

Moonraker (the novel not the movie) actually explains why Bond is a womanizer and addicted to upper class luxuries. He doesn’t expect to live long because of his career, and therefore decides to live to the fullest.

[Paulina Mangubat 🫏 @paulinaVEVO]

Haters mad

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

J.K. Simmons reunites with Spider-Man at the Mets vs Reds game.

[MLB @MLB]

"He's a menace ... I WANT SPIDER-MAN!"

J.K. Simmons is at the Mets game tonight and ran into a familiar face 😂

[Sara Wahedi @SaraWahedi]

Made it my life’s mission to become the Taliban’s worst nightmare:

A highly educated Afghan woman.

First, Columbia University at the top of my class, and now Oxford University.

Give Afghan girls one chance and see what they can achieve.

[Tea with Tolkien @TeawithTolkien]

the Pope quoting The Lord of the Rings!!!!!!! I feel so alive!!!!

[Mel Redgrave: FOLLOW @WOLFHELVETICA (She/Her)🔞 @MelxRedgrave]

Nigga, just watch the news.

[Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer]

In 1998, I was fired from my corporate job while 9 months pregnant because and I quote, “my priorities would be elsewhere after the baby is born.”

The lawyer I hired told me I didn’t have a case because discrimination like “that” was almost impossible to prove.

So I got pissed.

Took the LSAT. Went to law school. Passed the bar. Had 3 more kids.

Twelve years later, another woman from that same company was fired for the same reason. She sued them for a million dollars, and won, partly because I had kept every piece of evidence from what happened to me years prior demonstrating a systemic pattern of discrimination against women.

That company no longer exists. My law practice is thriving. And that baby they said would derail my priorities? She’s a brilliant attorney now working at my firm.

Turns out my priorities were indeed, elsewhere.

[The Oxford Comma @RealOxfordComma]

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a list in possession of three or more items is in want of an Oxford comma.

[SatanWatch 👿 @_SatanWatch]

The first guy in America to wear a beard was so hated for it that he used to get into street fights with people trying to forcibly shave him.

[dior ✞ @deeore5]

"listen to your body"

my body: go get a cinnamon roll the size of a tire