"PREGNANCY OPENED MY EYES TO HOW DEEPLY PATRIARCHY HAS FAILED NIGERIAN WOMEN. 😫💔
Four pregnancies. Four beautiful children. Three in Nigeria and one abroad.
I was present throughout all four journeys. During the three pregnancies in Nigeria, I attended virtually every antenatal appointment with my wife. Every scan. Every test. Every check-up. I was there. I was also present at the hospital for the birth of all my children. In fact, all four babies were handed to me almost immediately after their mother carried them after delivery. But that is not even where I am going with this.
During those antenatal visits in Nigeria, I would see countless pregnant women looking exhausted, hungry, stressed and worn out. Some would arrive with babies less than a year old strapped to their backs while carrying another pregnancy. And almost every single time, I would be the only man there supporting his wife. The only man.
Every time we got home, I would ask my wife the same question "Where are the husbands of these women? Is this really how women are treated in the hands of this God-forsaken men?" 😫
I was born and bred in Nigeria, nobody teaches all this things. I read and learnt it myself and I understand the fact that a woman should never go through pregnancy alone.
Then I moved abroad. And my eyes opened even wider. During my wife's last pregnancy, despite working full-time, I never missed a single hospital appointment. Not one. And whenever we arrived, the waiting rooms were full of husbands supporting their wives. Men taking notes. Men asking questions. Men carrying bags. Men holding hands. Men showing up. That was when I realized something. Maybe I was not the normal one in Nigeria. Maybe that was why I always looked odd. Because what I was doing abroad was normal. What I was doing in Nigeria was treated like I was doing something extraordinary.
That was when I truly understood how deeply patriarchy has damaged Nigerian men and, by extension, their wives.
Nigerian men, stop this nonsense. Pregnancy was created by both of you. You may never fully understand what these women are going through physically, emotionally and mentally, but the least you can do is support them with your presence. And please, don't ever compare pregnancy to you going to work.
Look at the picture of my wife during our last pregnancy. Look at her tummy. Look at what her body had to go through just to bring another human being into this world. And you dare compare that to any work in the world? Are you mad or something? 😫
After everything pregnancy does to a woman's body, some of you still call women fat. Some of you still call women lazy. Some of you still call women cranky. Some of you still complain about stretch marks. Haaa. 😫 Every time I looked at my wife during those final months, I was genuinely afraid for her. The physical sacrifice alone was enormous. The discomfort. The sleepless nights. The body changes. The risks.
Men, respect these women. Give them their flowers every single day. They deserve far more than a simple thank you. And as for me, I still tell my wife thank you. Thank you for risking your life four different times for our family. Thank you for carrying our children. Thank you for enduring what I could never endure. Thank you for doing something that neither I, my father, my grandfather nor any man who will ever live can do.
African men wake up from your slumber. Women deserve more than gratitude.
They deserve respects"
Some of you men genuinely believe that the moment you get married, every domestic chore you used to do when you were single automatically becomes your wife’s responsibility.
Even for something as simple as picking up the remote that is right in front of you or grabbing a glass of water that is five feet away, you’ll still call your wife… who is already busy doing something else.
In your wedding card, you for just kuku put SLAVE in bracket in front of your wife’s name.
For Example:
Dickson Wed Deborah(Slave)
Ebuka Obi recently hosted a seminar and prayers for men looking for wives and if you see the amount of men that attended the seminar you will be amazed, the delusions that it’s only women roaming in church for their miracle weddings would shock you.
Men and women are roaming everywhere looking for a life partner
As men get older, their sperm quality depreciates and declines over time.
Before you marry a man older than 35, think about your unborn children.
When men above 35 or 40 get you pregnant, there is a higher risk of miscarriage or birth complications. Your child may also have a higher risk of autism spectrum disorder, schizophrenia, and genetic disorders such as achondroplasia and Apert syndrome.
Especially when they don’t take their overall health, lifestyle and reproductive health seriously… on top of that some of them will still go and cheat with everything under a skirt, and contaminate the already weakened sperm with infection.
Imagine a weak sperm with with infection 🙆🏾♂️
Woman are told to cover the abuse that goes on at home, cover the shame of their husbands,told that they’re the home builders even when the man is obviously doing everything to wreck his home, this is why so many women cover a whole lot of evils their husbands are perpetuating.
During marriage lectures they focus on the woman telling her loads of bullshit on her how protect the home but little directed towards the man that’s why a woman would know her husband is committing incest with her children would keep quiet and cover such crimes.
A woman would divorce her deadbeat husband and the society will frown at her and tell her she can’t keep a home and it rains everyday,it’s the reason so many women die in their marriages rather than leave for fear of what the society will say to her.
My cousin’s marriage ended because of a group chat.
After their wedding, her husband added all the women in his family into one WhatsApp group with his wife so everybody could bond.
At first it was normal. Recipes. Family jokes. Random prayers every morning.
Then one day my cousin accidentally saw messages that weren’t meant for her.
Turns out there was another group chat without her.
The women in the family used that second group to discuss everything she did. How she dressed. How she cooked. How much weight she gained after childbirth. Even screenshots of private things she told her mother in law.
The worst part? Her husband was in that group too.
And instead of defending her, he’d react with laughing emojis whenever his sisters mocked her.
She confronted him and this man said “You know how women are, I was just avoiding drama.”
She packed out the next morning.
Now the family is divided because some people think divorce over “mere gossip” was extreme, while others believe betrayal hurts more when the person meant to protect you joins in laughing at you.
So The most stupeed reason most men believe their cheating shouldn’t count as cheating is because they are the one that paid bride price.
God, how did we arrive here?
Teach your boy child “ Men are not Polygamous in Nature
Teach your boy child that “a Man not cheating isn’t Simp but rare gem
Teach him not to seek Validation from DAMAGED Men on social media
Teach Your boy child how to handle Rejections
Teach your Boy child Consents & No means No
Teach your Boy the beauty of staying faithful with one woman
Teach your boy child respect towards women
Teach Your boy child the gravity of their actions
Lastly :Be a Good examples to your boy child because you can tell them all this things but if you’re not leading by examples then you’re a joker.
Happy INTERNATIONAL BOY CHILD DAY 🩷.
To protect yourself from Liver Cancer
Cut Alcohol totally- Alcohol>> liver cancer
Get your Hepatitis B vaccine. Hep B >>> Liver Cancer.
Avoid Taking Mouldy groundnut, Mouldy tomatoes ( Ata Esha). (See pic)
Aflatoxin>> Liver Cancer
Cut smoking. Smoking >>> Liver cancer
Practice safe sex and don't share needles.
Hepatitis C >>> Liver Cancer
Cut smoking
Tobacco >>> Liver screening
Regular screening and tests.
. Some things can be picked early and acted on
I am addicted to my wife in an unhealthy way.
i have been married for 4 years now to who i loved so much back in the days, we dated for 2 years then married after we never been intimate during our relationship maybe kisses and hugs but due to religious reason both of us agreed to wait until marriage.
so our first night after marriage we did it for 5 hours, 4 sessions or something i remember that night like yesterday, anyway since we married i am not interested in women anymore but her i dont get tempted or anything.
Everyone told me that is only at the beginning and it will fade but it intensified during these 4 years to the point where i would finish my work fast to go back home to her and she is there waiting for me every single time.
Dear Nigerian men,
All your lives, you've been lied to. Fertility issues aren't gender specific.
Men do have biological clocks.
The quality of your sperm peaks at 30, subtle decline in your 30s & significnt decline in your 40s.
Your sperm can cause pregnancy complications 🙏
Those stupid boxers you currently have on - if they fling it into a running stream, 40000 fishes will float up dead instantly.
Imagine a penis from that nastiness inserted directly into a woman.
Pity your partner, you dirty pig.
Odogwu paranran with biweekly boxers. Ewww.
Take off your shoes and look at your ankles - then look at your elbows. Ashhhhyyy.
Dear Nigerian men,
Using lotion doesn't make you gay.
Skincare doesn't make you gay.
Flossing doesn't make you gay.
Changing boxers doesn't make you gay.
You're just a nasty musty boy.
My friend lost his wife this afternoon around noon.
We took the wife to the hospital together because he had to sit with her at the back while I drove them to the hospital.
She was energetic even joking with her husband that he was too afraid,the ride to the hospital was fun because I was enjoying the conversations.
While we were in the hospital,they rushed her into the labour room and suddenly we started hearing she was having difficulty giving birth and that they would need at least 4 pints of blood.
We got the amount of blood that was needed,as at that time my friend had already spent over 3million naira on bills and other things in the hospital, because the hospital is one of the best in Abuja.
We were outside waiting for the good news when the doctor came and met me and my friend telling us they tried everything but she died.
My friend almost fainted, I was holding him,then I asked the doctor what about the baby,he said the baby is alive but in the incubator.
This was how we lost a very energetic,playful and lively lady.
My friend has not said a word up till this moment I'm typing this.
We all are just here for him,none of us knows what to even say to him.
Right now we are just here for him.
May God keep protecting our women during child birth.
As a sexually active man, please pity your partners. 🙏
When you use public toilets, rinse your penis.
Before you sit, lace with toilet papers.
Use one boxer per day.
Your penis care is also important to maintain her vagina's PH. You're the one causing the fishy smell.
When my baby was around 3 months old, my husband wasn’t around, so it was just me and the baby that night.
This girl refused to sleep.
I breastfed… she still didn’t sleep.
I rocked… she still didn’t sleep.
I sang… she still didn’t sleep.
Then towards 4am she started sleeping when I was already battling with this mad headache.
By morning, my enemy was almost running mad. 😩
At exactly 6am, I called my mum since she lives close by and told her,
“Mummy abeg come carry your grandchild before your daughter runs mad.”
My mum got scared and rushed down immediately.
When she got to my house and she saw my face, she just carried the baby, packed her food, packed her clothes and left.
Immediately she stepped out, I fell on the bed and slept like someone that just finished 12 hours night shift.
I didn’t bathe.
I didn’t brush.
I didn’t even think.
I slept from 6am till 4pm. 😭
When I woke up, I was just lying down pressing phone, replying customers because my phone had been on DND.
I even saw missed calls from my husband and texted him:
“I’ve been sleeping.”
All this while… I didn’t remember I had a baby o.
Normal me, the first person I would call is my mum to ask:
“Hope she didn’t disturb you?”
But this day, nothing. I was just pressing phone like single lady.
Then my husband called and said:
“Omo mi nko?”
I said: “Omo wo?” 😭
He paused and said,
“Are you joking? Oloriire nko?”
That was when it clicked…
Ah.
I have a child.😂😂😂
I quickly called my mum and said,
“Omo yin nko?”
My mum said jokingly,
“Oti gbagbe pe o bimo abi?”
If only she knew that was exactly what happened. 😂😂
I just said,
“No oo, I just woke up.”
Till today, I’ve not told my husband.
I’ve not told my mum.
Because even me, I’m still in denial that I forgot my own child. 😂😂
I had a misunderstanding with my wife a few minutes before bedtime ,She left our bed to sleep in the living room, I also left the bed and joined her there. I even wrapped my hands around her..
This marriage must succeed by fire by force .. My enemies cannot mock me...
Girl - Girl.. If you like,go settle for a man wey dey keep malice....
Your eyes go clear!!