i feel myself getting dumber. i have to think before i speak now because my words get jumbled up. i forget things so easily. i can't focus. i mix things up all the time
People with delayed reactions do NOT play. You can do something to them today and they’ll wait 2 months to cut you off for it just to make sure they wasn’t trippin.. 😭
There’s something called functional depression.
It’s real and it hides very well.
You’re doing everything you’re supposed to do. you go to work, you show up for people, you even laugh and gist like nothing is wrong.
But deep down, you’re not okay.
You’re tired in a way you can’t explain..like you do things, but there’s no real joy in it. It just feels like something you have to get through, like you’re on autopilot.
People look at you and think you’re fine because you’re “functioning.” They don’t see how heavy it feels just to get through a normal day. They don’t see how quiet everything is inside you.
And you don’t even know how to explain it without sounding dramatic, so you keep it to yourself and keep going.
This country takes everything from you, little things.
No cute little brunch, no girls night, no random cinema dates, because you have to do scale of preference so you don’t suffer.
God this is not living.