Thinks-Too-Much

I feel like Im living in a dream world trying to wake up, only to realize, I've been awake all along. Now? I wish I could go back to sleep! Madness meets logic

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

https://t.co/y3VYSuR5xF

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

Static on a Broken Screen.

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

You've become my nightmare..
while I was trying to be your dream..

you took advantage of who we were..
all the moments.. all the laughter.. everything..

I had so much to give and with a smile you took it all.. now I can't breathe..
I became the noise in your feed.. like I'm just static on a broken screen..

now every room feels smaller when you're standing next to me..
I gave you everything.. I thought you'd ever need..
I called what we had love.. while you treated us casually..
I became another notch in your bedpost..
you became my misery..

I tried to keep my head up.. I didn't wanna see..
all the things you would do.. everything I didn't wanna be..

you played us like a game.. treated me like a pawn..
made me question what was real.. like everything was wrong..

every promise had an ending.. every truth came with a casualty..
made me doubt the way I felt.. questioning my sanity..
I was tiptoeing over eggshells.. like there was no gravity..
while you stood there looking innocent.. rewriting reality..

I kept looking for the good in you..
while losing all the good in me..
somewhere between your promises..
I forgot who I used to be..

I was losing myself.. just trying to keep you calm..
calling what we had love.. while you blamed me for the harm..
I kept minimizing everything.. so you could stay complete..
now I hardly recognize the person staring back at me..

you became my nightmare..
while I was trying to be your dream..

you took everything we had and crushed it down violently..
turned this heart of mine cold.. until it started shattering..

now I carry all these pieces.. like they belong to me..
trying to rebuild.. a version of the man I used to be..
every lesson left a scar.. every scar became a memory..
I watched you walk away with nothing.. while I carried everything..

looking back.. I see your love came dressed as infamy..
I was blind.. just the punchline to your tragedy..
I crashed and burned to the ground.. now I return with clarity..
pulled myself from the wreckage.. piece by piece.. deliberately..
I stopped trying to save the picture.. while the frame was incomplete..
now I finally see the nightmare.. for what it used to be..

I was losing myself.. just trying to keep you calm..
calling what we had love.. while you blamed me for the harm..
I kept minimizing everything.. so you could stay complete..
now I finally recognize.. the person staring back at me..

you became my nightmare..
while I was trying to be your dream..

now I know the difference..
between what you were.. and what I believed..

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

https://t.co/ijJdFcf2jI

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

Wrong Place, Right Time.

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

its Friday night.. the bars packed.. shoulder to shoulder..
glasses hit the table.. every story getting bolder..
everyone yelling over music.. nobody can hear..
someone bought another round.. then tomorrow disappeared..

reflections on the bottles.. laughter bouncing off the walls..
friends getting louder.. strangers acting like they know us all..
room starts spinning slowly.. but no one seems to mind..
the whole place moving sideways.. while we're losing track of time..

somewhere in the noise.. you were leaning by the bar..
didn't know your name yet.. didn't know how to start..
one look through the crowd.. then everything aligned..
wrong place maybe.. but damn.. the right time..

Its the wrong place.. but the right time..
with strong drinks.. and good vibes..
I saw it when you crossed my path..
there's trouble brewing in your eyes..
now my drink's gone.. but I'm fine..
what a time to be alive..
gonna shoot my shot..
your place or mine..

you laughed at something stupid.. I forgot what I said..
your friends kept looking over.. mine already left for dead..
we kept saying one more drink.. like one more wouldn't turn to five..
DJ killed the lights a little.. then everything started feeling right..

everything's going great tonight..
small talk turned to laughter.. turned to your hand on mine..
the heat's getting heavy in here.. sweat rolling down my spine..
your body does everything.. before you say whats on your mind..
you play one hell of a game.. so I'm trying to stay sober..
got enough liquid courage.. so I asked for your number..
maybe it's all the drinks.. but you leaned in closer..
whispered in my ear.. bit your lip..
I knew it was over..

Its the wrong place.. but the right time..
with strong drinks.. and good vibes..
I saw it when you crossed my path..
now I know exactly what's in your eyes..
now my drink's gone.. but I'm fine..
what a time to be alive..
gonna shoot my shot..
your place or mine..

last call creeping closer.. lights coming up too bright..
friends yelling something.. but we're already outside..
cold air hits different.. after dancing half the night..
you looked at me and smiled.. like you already knew the line..

it's the wrong place.. but the right time..
with strong drinks.. and good vibes..
I saw it when you crossed my path..
now that trouble's coming alive..
now my drink's gone.. but I'm fine..
what a time to be alive..
gonna shoot my shot..
your place or mine..

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

https://t.co/dVIW5q3hvx

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

Bars.

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

Don't come at me like you're untouchable.. got this nine millimeter that'll minus one and snuff you.. have you laying on the side of the road like a dead possum.. stinking up the place.. while your corpse rottens.. must have been a spoiled kid playing rockem sockem..​ cause you'll lose your head.. then you ain't got one.. mom's will be crying.. tears falling with no stoppingum.. im a day late a dollar short.. meant for the asylum.. you wanna play this game.. then let's get to hoppin.. dont know what's going on upstairs.. so I ignore the knocking.. got a piece of mind.. its not mine.. thats your caution.. these corridors like a maze.. most days grey.. most days are Gotham.. the voices come with the territory.. I just sit and watchem.. stay in my corner full time.. I dont get to clock in.. im throwing up red lights.. but you keep approaching.. then I get blamed for the maggots encroaching.. yellow tape in my mind.. still you stepped where it's broken.. now youre pointing at me.. like the door wasnt open.. they call me crazy.. while I gave you every warning.. black out then come back with no emotion.. lights flicker in the halls.. shadows moving in slow motion.. stopped looking for the exits.. started calling this place home then.. became part of the commotion.. just floating.. arms open.. in the erosion..

yellow tape in my mind.. you still cross the line.. said I gave you no warning.. I was flashing signs.. im not looking for peace.. im just learning what's mine.. used to pray for the old me.. now I enjoy the ride..

these walls know my name.. these halls know my scars.. I got lost in my head.. now live behind bars.. if the chaos is mine.. then im making it art.. stopped looking for exits.. started learning the dark..

I wanna go back.. back.. to a simpler time.. one that was filled with joy.. instead of the cries.. the screams with no goodbyes.. the madness that spins inside.. but ohwell.. the chaos is mine.. I wanna go back.. but I know I cant rewind.. every mark left a scar.. every mark redesigned.. so i carry what I survived.. leave the rest behind.. not looking for peace now.. just learning this mind.. I know every crack.. every bend in the walls.. know which thoughts stay quiet.. which one starts brawls.. used to run from the echoes.. now I answer the calls.. built a home in the mess.. hung my name in the halls.. see the old me sometimes.. like a ghost in the glass.. I reach out for the image.. but it fades when I pass.. so I quit chasing backwards.. stopped begging the past.. if this version is forever.. then facts are facts.. yellow tape in my mind.. yet you crossed every line.. said I gave you no warning.. I was flashing the signs.. im not looking for peace.. im just learning what's mine.. used to pray for me.. now I enjoy the ride..

yellow tape in my mind.. you still cross the line.. said I gave you no warning.. I was flashing signs.. im not looking for peace.. im just learning what's mine.. used to pray for the old me.. now I enjoy the ride..

these walls know my name.. these halls know my scars.. I got lost in my head.. now live behind bars.. if the chaos is mine.. then im making it art.. stopped looking for exits.. started learning the dark..

wanna make it all stop.. but cant.. its a new baseline.. all fuses blown.. every windows broken.. no sense of time.. use to get mad.. now the change is divine.. everything's pain.. for me everythings fine.. became detatched when I fell.. then came back from the flatline.. came back different.. same face.. different designs.. old wires got crossed.. but the currents all mine.. I dont chase whats lost.. I just carry the signs.. if this is what my life is.. then why all the sighs..

yellow tape in my mind.. you still cross the line.. said I gave you no warning.. I was flashing signs.. im not looking for peace.. im just learning what's mine.. used to pray for the old me.. now I enjoy the ride..

these walls know my name.. these halls know my scars.. I got lost in my head.. now live behind bars.. if the chaos is mine.. then im making it art.. stopped looking for exits.. started learning the dark..

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

https://t.co/fjlJGReGHL

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

I Keep Keeping On.

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

The lights hit my skin different.. the breeze felt warm..
those days felt long.. now my nights get torn..
the past hurts me like hell.. but the present keeps going..
I’m trapped in the middle.. of what’s right.. what’s wrong..

I keep keeping on.. the wind blowing with the windows down..
I keep keeping on.. the only way I know how..

not lost.. I know where I’m headed now..
it took the past to clear the present out..

what we had felt right.. like nothing could come between us..
where time stood still.. like it gave us meaning..

a purpose breeding.. from convenience..
became a lesson.. we couldn’t keep feeding..

call it a notch.. a stepping stone..
a memory holding on.. a reminder that we’re strong..

with what we had.. we couldn’t figure out..
what tomorrow brings.. beyond the doubt..

I keep keeping on.. with the windows down..
letting every mile.. turn the noise around..

I keep keeping on.. cause standing still gets loud..
I don’t need the old me back.. I just need me now..

had to let you go.. the goodbyes came with the sorrow..
but today’s here now.. not thinking about tomorrow..

a little smile goes a long way.. but it’s mine.. not borrowed..
the hurt still stings.. but strengthens the marrow..

maybe we were meant.. to meet and not remain..
maybe some forever.. only lasts through certain days..

maybe loving someone.. doesn’t mean they have to stay..
some people leave a shadow.. some people light the way..

I don’t hate the memories.. I just see them different now..
used to feel like gravity.. now they barely pull me down..

there was a time I’d turn around.. just hoping you’d be found..
now the road keeps opening.. every time I leave that town..

I keep keeping on.. the wind blowing with the windows down..
I keep keeping on.. the only way I know how..

not lost.. I know where I’m headed now..
it took the past to clear the present out..

if your name comes drifting in.. with an old song late at night..
I might smile at what we were.. I don’t have to make it right..

some things aren’t mistakes.. just chapters running out..
you were part of who I was.. you’re not who I am now..

I keep keeping on.. even when the road gets long..
I keep keeping on.. turn the radio up loud..

windows down.. let the old air leave somehow..
I don’t need to know tomorrow.. I’m alive inside the now..

the lights hit my skin different.. the breeze still feels warm..
those days are gone.. but I survived the storm..

the past still lives behind me.. but it doesn’t lead me now..
I keep keeping on.. the only way I know how..

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

https://t.co/i2PGzHS302

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

The Spins.

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

I wake up and stretch.. then I yawn..
wipe the sleep from my eyes.. went too hard..
today's got the cure.. so let's see what's going on..
feet hit the floor.. I hit the door.. then im gone..

I pick up the phone.. call the boys.. say my hi's.. hellos..
someone's got a plan.. someone's making noise..
doesnt matter where we're going.. so we go..
just another story for the road..

the windows down.. letting the whole world in..
its the same old streets.. but they feel brand new..
got a few bucks in our pockets.. feels like nowhere we've been..
forever young.. thinking we got nothing to lose..

it's a blur a spin.. we're going right round.. another day.. another night on the town.. this is what.. this is what's going down.. ohhh ohhh.. turn it up.. drown it out..

round and round.. until the sun comes around.. ohhh ohhh.. we're never slowing down.. dont know where we're going.. dont care right now.. the blurs a spin.. and we're going right round..

sun goes down.. but the days not done..
streetlights flicker.. now the nights begun..
somebody laughs.. someone yells come on..
dont know where we're headed.. but we're already gone..

pull up to the spot.. everyone's waiting outside..
same old faces.. some brand new..
talking our shit.. letting the words slide..
the nights to young.. to give a fuck what we do..

somethings going down on the otherside of town..
we pile back in.. just fucking around..
the musics too loud.. windows still down..
ohhh ohhh.. here we go.. another round..

it's a blur a spin.. we're going right round.. another day.. another night on the town.. this is what.. this is what's going down.. ohhh ohhh.. turn it up.. drown it out..

round and round.. until the sun comes around.. ohhh ohhh.. we're never slowing down.. dont know where we're going.. dont care right now.. the blurs a spin.. and we're going right round..

musics too loud.. talking over the sound..
passing places that we swore we'd remember..
one more stop.. then another comes around..
living life.. like the middle of summer..

the hours disappear.. dont know where they went..
dont know what we did.. dont know what we spent..
laughing at dumb shit.. that wont make sense tomorrow..
but tomorrow's not here.. so there’s nothing to follow..

2 AM.. 3 AM.. who really knows..
someone disappeared.. someone found somewhere to go..
eyes getting heavy.. but no one heads home..
cause going home means the nights getting old..

one more story.. we'll tell our way..
completely different from the shit that we say..
completely different than what we slur..
but right now we're living somewhere in the blur..

THE BLURS A SPIN.. WE'RE GOING RIGHT ROUND.. ANOTHER DAY.. ANOTHER NIGHT ON THE TOWN.. THIS IS.. THIS IS WHATS GOING DOWN.. OHHH OHHH.. TURN IT UP.. DROWN IT OUT..

ROUND AND ROUND.. UNTIL THE SUN COMES AROUND.. OHHH OHHH. WE'RE NEVER SLOWING DOWN.. DONT KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING.. DONT CARE RIGHT NOW.. THE BLURS SPIN.. AND WE'RE GOING RIGHT ROUND..

round and round..
round and round..

ohhh ohhh..

until the sun comes around..

round and round..
round and round..

voices start fading.. streetlights flying by.. someones talking.. dont know why.. last thing I remember.. someone saying goodnight.. everything's a blur.. but not goodbye..

I wake up and stretch.. then I yawn.. wipe the sleep from my eyes.. last night's a blur.. went too hard.. today's got the cure.. so lets see whats going on.. I pick up the phone.. call the boys.. then im gone..

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

https://t.co/JhKSEmpvFl

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

I wrote this about what I've been going through since my stroke.

Trying to accept who I am now, while still chasing the person I remember being.

The Realization

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

You thought it was all pretend..
like im playing some game to win..
you had me thinking its all in my head..
but my realization says everythings different..

started questioning everything I knew..
wondering if what I felt was even true..
kept looking for the proof you couldn't see..
until I realized the proof was fucking me..

I push and push to no end..
until I dont recognize where I've been..
trapped chasing the person I was back then..
like somehow I'll become him again..

every time I reach for him.. he slips away..
another fucking reminder.. I've changed..
I keep fighting a war.. I can't outrun..
trying to rebuild.. what cant be undone..

(whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

I'M STILL HERE..
BUT I'M NOT WHO I'VE BEEN..
I KEEP PUSHING LIKE THIS IS A GAME I CAN WIN..
WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I'M STILL HERE..
I'M STILL HERE..
BUT THE REALIZATION SAYS DIFFERENT..

I get glimpses of yesterday.. like it was today..
try to do those things.. but thats the past.. I relapse..
holding memories that distort.. then decay..
they come and go.. slipping away so fast..

I reach for something familiar.. just to watch it disappear..
swear I recognize myself.. whenever he appears..
then my body pulls me back.. makes everything clear..
the person that I'm chasing.. isn't fucking here..

(whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

I'M STILL HERE..
BUT I'M NOT WHO I'VE BEEN..
I KEEP PUSHING LIKE THIS IS A GAME I CAN WIN..
WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I'M STILL HERE..
I'M STILL HERE..
BUT THE REALIZATION SAYS DIFFERENT..

do I let down these walls.. accept who ive become..
stop chasing everything I've done..
forget what I knew.. and realize it won..
I've been holding on so long.. I forgot what I'm holding for..
keep reaching for the life I had.. while I'm standing at another door..

do I call this surrender.. or finally letting go..
cause I've been fighting for someone.. that only yesterday knows..
every memory tells me.. there's somewhere I should be..
but every time I follow.. it leads me back to misery.

if I stop chasing him.. what the fuck does that make me..
if I let the memories fade.. am I losing sight of what i see..
if I accept who I am.. and let the old me flee..
am I finally moving forward.. or does this mean he can no longer be..

(whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

maybe I don't have to win..

WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

maybe I just have to live..

I'M STILL HERE..
BUT I'M NOT WHO I'VE BEEN..
I KEPT PUSHING LIKE THIS WAS A GAME I COULD WIN..
WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I'M STILL HERE..
I'M STILL HERE..
AND I'M STARTING TO SEE THE DIFFERENCE..

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

https://t.co/u9d6cFl5Qn

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

Casper.

[Thinks-Too-Much @Pecerbus]

Fuck it.. imma do it for you with this rhyme..
drop a flow.. to let you all know.. it’s my time..
I stay Casper.. neighborhood ghost..
pockets stay empty.. while banks overload..
up in the clouds.. staying quiet.. everyday a toast..
the smoke stays loud.. no need to boast..
so ill do what I do.. catch the mood and just coast..
treat the world like my dais.. yall catch the roast..

I don’t chase crowds.. I just float through the scene..
half awake.. half gone.. somewhere in between..
you can flex for the cameras.. polish up the machine..
I’d rather disappear.. lettem wonder where I’ve been..

still broke in my pocket.. rich where it counts..
never cared for the numbers they brag about..
everybody screaming loud.. trying to stand out..
I stay ghost.. then somehow.. I’m what they talk about..

Casper.. Casper.. floating through the night..
smoke in the air.. city shining so bright..
I don't gotta be seen.. to know I’m alright..
been invisible so long.. now the ghost got a light..

Casper.. Casper.. floating through the night..
smoke in the air.. city shining so bright..
I don't gotta be seen.. to know I’m alright..
been invisible so long.. now the ghost got a light..

fuck a throne.. I got comfortable with the clouds..
fuck applause.. I got comfortable with the sounds..
whole room talking.. but I’m tuning them out..
funny how the quietest motherfucker.. always gets loud..

bank account.. looking like it went paranormal..
zeroes disappeared.. yeah that shit looking horrible.
still wake up smiling.. even broke feels normal..
life stayed weird.. so I learned to make weird formal..

I don’t need chains hanging down to my knees..
I got smoke curling slow.. while I lean with the breeze..
everybody wants more.. I just want what I need..
little peace.. little space.. little room just to breathe..

Casper.. Casper.. floating through the night..
smoke in the air.. city shining so bright..
I don't gotta be seen.. to know I’m alright..
been invisible so long.. now the ghost got a light..

Casper.. Casper.. floating through the night..
smoke in the air.. city shining so bright..
I don't gotta be seen.. to know I’m alright..
been invisible so long.. now the ghost got a light..

I'm the neighborhood ghost.. still haunting the place..
not because I’m stuck.. I just move at my pace..
you can run for the finish.. I'm not joining the race..
I’m enjoying the smoke.. while yall fight for first place..

witnessed what comes along with the need..
so I hold what I have.. keeps me from the bleed..
everything's fun and games.. until it turns to schemes..
dont walk straight lines.. just dont fuck with the beams..

so fuck it.. imma do it.. put the truth in the rhyme..
never needed your clock.. just to tell me my time..
I was Casper when broke.. I’ll be Casper when fine..
because the shit that makes me rich.. never came with a dime.

Casper.. Casper.. floating through the night..
smoke in the air.. city shining so bright..
I don't gotta be seen.. to know I’m alright..
been invisible so long.. now the ghost got a light..

Casper.. Casper.. floating through the night..
smoke in the air.. city shining so bright..
I don't gotta be seen.. to know I’m alright..
been invisible so long.. now the ghost got a light..