Pete’s Tweets

After 3 years of therapy, my psychiatrist finally said something that brought a tear to my eye. He said No hablo inglés.

[Pete’s Tweets @Peej2000]

Hey @Tesco why are you reducing the number of delivery slots now?

[Damien Cross @DC_F1]

Never mind Hawk Tuah etc, this is the social media person I want to succeed in 2025

[Pete’s Tweets @Peej2000]

If anyone is joining the #xodus and boycotting this shambles, come over to #bluesky. I need some followers!
https://t.co/8YVzXqwmYF

[Supertanskiii @supertanskiii]

I think this is called instant karma.

A truly beautiful moment.

Wait for it…

[Damian Low @DamianLow3]

Taylor Swift has donated enough money to cover the food bills for an entire year across 11 food banks and 8 community pantries in Liverpool.

She has done this for every city she's toured in the UK meaning she’s done more than the govt has in 14 years to eradicate food poverty.

[Richard Sefton @richardosefton]

All of the voters switching from Tory to Reform.

Guess who they will be?

They will be all of the people who were warned about Boris Johnson but chose not to listen.

They will be all of the people who were warned about voting for Brexit but chose not to listen.

They are people that STILL want to blame others, rather than look at themselves.

Yes the tories let you down BUT YOU WERE TOLD THEY WOULD!

Yes Brexit hasn’t given you the sunlit uplands they promised BUT YOU WERE TOLD IT WOULDN’T!

One of the main people who lied to you was… Nigel friggin’ Farage, and so, yet again, you are making yourselves look pathetically stupid.

[Pete’s Tweets @Peej2000]

@Graffiti6

[James Lucas @JamesLucasIT]

Satisfying photos for perfectionists - thread 🧵

1. Crescent Moon bridge by Yier Wang

[Irish Ranger (Sevvy) @VeteranIrish]

A woman meets a man in a bar.
They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together..
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment.
she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft,
sweet, cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute,
cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them
and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into
organizing the display.
There were small bears all along the bottom shelf.
Medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf.
And huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears, and is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while, she finds herself thinking, ‘Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future father of my children?'
She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips.
He responds warmly, and they continue to kiss, the passion builds. Then he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom, where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.
After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly,
'Well, how was it?'
The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says: 'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf.'
😁😁

[Aurora @Aurora_SpcX]

no one:

no one at all:

your Chemistry teacher on World Book Day:

[diyani 🧚🏽‍♀️ @gibb0ngirl]

only one person can figure out what’s happening with kate middleton

[paige hettinger @404paigenotfnd]

you really do have to wonder why there hasn’t been a single photo of her for two months when they let this fly

[Pete’s Tweets @Peej2000]

@kellebryan @simon_proctor It's cos they sucked as a duo, they need someone to carry them

[No Context Brits @NoContextBrits]

I’d pay to watch this.

[Freddie @FreddieBailey96]

Tens of thousands of people have skipped meals for these profits.

[Louis Staples @LouisStaples]

who hasn’t risked it all for a fuckboi with slightly greasy hair and bad grammar, who tells us everything we want to hear? We’ve all been Mollie at least once. She’s the people’s princess #TheTraitorsUK

[Janey Godley @JaneyGodley]

“Here are some of the names we called Boris the WhatsApp group” #nicola #janeygodleyvoiceover

[chaotic memes @memechaotic]

How close I am to losing my shit