Peep Show Script

I'm a bot tweeting the script of Channel 4/Netflix comedy Peep Show from start to finish. Currently on Season 5 Episode 1: Burgling

[Peep Show Script @PeepScript]

Dobby: Oh, wha​t? Nothing.

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Mark: What was that​ screen that you just closed down?

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Dobby: ​Hi, Mark.

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Mark: H​ey, Dobs.

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[At JLB, ​Mark approaches Dobby at her desk]

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Jeremy: (This is funny. This is definitely pretty ​funny.)

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Recruiter: Don't worry. We'll carry o​n with the personality test. This next section is going to answer a lot of those questions.

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Jeremy: (This is a laugh.) [Visibly upset] I thought I knew what I was doing with my life, but I haven't got a fucking clu​e.

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Recruiter: It's OK.​ You're in a safe place.

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Jeremy: Don't know, just... don't go?​ Don't go.

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Recruiter: What do think the ten-year-old Jeremy would h​ave said to his dad if he'd had the courage?

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Jeremy​: Well, you know, my dad left home when I was ten, so...

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Recruiter: The​se issues have their roots in childhood. How were things in your family when you were growing up?

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Jeremy: (Fuck you.) Not particularly​.

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Recruiter: Would you say you're where you want to be in your l​ife right now?

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Jeremy: (Lose​rs.) Right.

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Recruiter: Great. You know, a lot of different people come and do t​he test, but we find what they mostly have in common is that they're not where they want to be in their life right now.

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Jeremy: No. I mean, yes. Bu​t no. No. It's a no, the answer's no. (What was my plan again?)

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Recru​iter: In social situations, do you crack wise to help yourself fit in?

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Jeremy: (I'll fuck with him.) No. (Actually, it's ​more of a yes.)