JON

[JON @PenisToothbrush]

Took a foster kids pawn en passant today am I a bad person?

[JON @PenisToothbrush]

@nottaliy It felt reasonable at the time

[RJ 🇺🇸 @halflawless]

Somebody come get their mans 😭😭😭

[JON @PenisToothbrush]

@taliyfps Literally me but with ketamine

[JON @PenisToothbrush]

Today I realized my dad is old

[phipps @misterphippsy]

What’s next? You gonna tell me Santa’s not real either?

[JON @PenisToothbrush]

Guys I panicked

[JON @PenisToothbrush]

It’s 2023 why haven’t we invented a way for straight people to lick envelopes

[JON @PenisToothbrush]

Getting home from a 12 hours shift and drinking whiskey over the sink like a single mom finishing off her child’s leftover macaroni

[JON @PenisToothbrush]

I can’t do it anymore. I have so much work to do, so many papers around me. I open my phone to use the calculator. Within seconds I am looking at pictures of jimmy buffet eating hot dogs. I didn’t search for it, I didn’t ask for it.

[Bereketeab @sir_benedictx]

Favorite tweet of your own?

[JON @PenisToothbrush]

@taliyfps Omg everyone who was there that day ended up in a relationship of varying length except that one guy

[phipps @misterphippsy]

how the hell do i respond to this

[JON @PenisToothbrush]

I texted my crush yeehaw and they’re not responding guys

[JON @PenisToothbrush]

@findingmeagan @uniparalum I know if I were in his shoes I’d attempt to do the same thing, get EASILY overpowered, and die. That’s why they don’t make TV shows about me

[JON @PenisToothbrush]

I posted my balls on tiktok today let’s see if I get fired

[JON @PenisToothbrush]

@taliyfps I only date cool people Dawg what can I say

[JON @PenisToothbrush]

@taliyfps Come to Washington my gf will give you lessons