Penstemon

[Penstemon @Penstemon]

http://t.co/gadWLtdI Keep a baby with you at all times in case you need to throw it at someone who tries to arrest you.

[Penstemon @Penstemon]

Happy Birthday, black Jesus. http://t.co/R1jtWJ10

[Penstemon @Penstemon]

My psychic is a talented blind woman. She has a fifth sense. http://t.co/9DSw6u1e

[Penstemon @Penstemon]

http://t.co/dIHJdhE3 I'm wearing this hipster's carcass ironically.

[Penstemon @Penstemon]

http://t.co/xKLalJdF Give a man a fish, where's he supposed to put it? Get away from him you weirdo.

[Penstemon @Penstemon]

http://t.co/rSI4xY0E SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who's ever used a cell phone will die

[Penstemon @Penstemon]

http://t.co/6yleIOLw I received this computer for Christmas yesterday. I'm already ashamed of the things it has seen.