"Ma maman a cru que j'étais sourde comme mes frères et sœurs. Quand elle a découvert que j'étais entendante, elle a pleuré de joie."
Ilona est une enfant CODA : Child Of Deaf Adults. La seule entendante de sa famille.
À l'école elle parle, à la maison elle signe. Sa première langue, c'est la langue des signes. Le français, elle l'a appris à l'école.
Et à 5 ans, elle pensait que tout le monde vivait comme elle. Un témoignage bouleversant de fierté.
Well for one, you can forget to set one. I literally sometimes change windows on my PC and forget what I was going to do in the 500ms that you need for alt+tab.
But let's say I didn't forget to set an alarm. Let me walk you through how it works:
1. Time blind = bad at estimating time needed. "Need to be there by 3, 30 minutes to get there, 15 minutes to get ready, set alarm for 2:15". Then I zone out for 20 minutes in the shower b/c my mind decided to go down some random rabbit hole and voila I'm 10-15 minutes late.
2. Well what's the problem? Just give yourself cushion time. Great! I know I'll get distracted so I set the alarm for 2:00. Alarm goes off, my mind: "No rush, you gave yourself extra time. Let's just finish the 2 minutes left in this YouTube video and then get ready." 30 minutes later: "Crap I should've been out the door already!!!!"
3. Fine. Then set multiple alarms. Got you! Set alarms for 2:00, 2:15, 2:30. First alarm rings, my mind: "No worries. We can finish this YouTube video, you have the 2:15 alarm to make sure you don't get distracted." 2:15 alarm rings: see scenario #1
4. Let's say I'm so anxious about making it on time that I actually get ready and am out the door by 2:30. Awesome! I'm gonna be on time! Halfway there: crap! I was so focused on getting there on time that I forgot to take the papers required to do what I need! I need to go back. Voila: 30 minutes late.
"You know your brain works this way. Just force yourself to stop watching the YouTube video and get ready!"
Ooooooh. That's the lesson: when something is important but I want to pay attention to something else, I should force my mind to focus on the important thing instead!
Seems easy. Oh wait... that's the DEFINITION of what people with ADHD can't do well (use executive function to shift attention).
Coping mechanisms: yes, I got those. It's called anxiety about being late and being so anxious about forgetting items I have mental mantras I repeat before leaving home. If something's super important to be on time for, I basically derail my entire day to make sure I'm there.
When my family was traveling and I was home alone, I would literally step out the apartment and close the door while looking directly at the apartment keys in the palm of my hand. Because I was too scared of forgetting them and locking myself out.
Oh, and I'd make sure I had my phone with me so that if I DID somehow still forget my keys, I could at least call my landlord to bail me out.
Life experience (I'm near 40) and getting diagnosed and getting meds helps, yeah. I'm not as commonly late as I used to be.
But yeah. If setting an alarms was the solution, ADHD would've been fixed 100 years ago.
Le premier et le dernier concert de rap hardcore là où tout a commencé. Chez moi, dans le 93.
KAARIS
STADE DE FRANCE
22.05.2027
Mise en vente Lundi 28 Septembre à 10h.
i think one of the loneliest parts of growing up is realizing that nobody really knows your whole story anymore. the people who knew you at 15 don't know who you became. the people who know you now weren't there for what shaped you. different eras, different people. we grew up.