The Perotniverse

News archived from the universe where Ross Perot won the 1992 Presidential election

Currently up to Summer 1995

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

Welcome to the Perotniverse: a world where Texan businessman Ross Perot—his campaign carefully curated by the era’s best political strategists—shocked the world and won the Presidency in 1992.

As a satirical alternate history, all media is covered under fair use.

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

@Phil_Lewis_ This is the kind of thing I could see getting pitched but it’s actually crazy that nobody talked them down to less significant shit. “1789: New capital location — somewhere else 6%” or “1960: Baby Kennedy gender — boy 51%” moves the chains just fine

[Jeanne 🇫🇷🇺🇦✝️ | 54-43 • 2.0 GB @JeanIsWitherin]

Capitalism must be destroyed at any and all costs, we cannot allow this parasitic disgusting institution to continue to leech on our lives and wellbeing for the rest of time

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

Guy’s wife is about to have a baby but he gets called away for work

[Peter Cook @_Peter_Cook]

Young boy joins neighborhood association, but over time, he regrets his choice and eventually leaves their employ.

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

@JeanIsWitherin Will he be one of the 31st-40th (10-team league) or 37th-48th (12-team) best performing WRs in fantasy football? He’s currently the 46th off the board behind Pittman & Quentin Johnston and it just feels like he’s gonna be a target monster while Tate gets up to speed

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

@buffys mosquitoes don’t even recognize her as food atp

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

@Canes @StanleyCup @NHL Ope lemme fix that for ya real quick

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

@SimuParadox @AOC @JonLemire If the government actually gave a shit about the well-being of students, they’d just pay teachers more.

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

@JohnArias796709 @AbdulElSayed Recession indicator: wannabe conservative pundits can’t even afford actual cartoonists anymore

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

@chitownsam723b @AbdulElSayed Remember when they tried to make Zohran’s wife a story in NYC but it failed hilariously bc nobody gives a fuck what politicians’ spouses do?

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

@shadihamid @mattyglesias This. There is no distinction between the center-left & the right. We’re not voting for people who take $ to advance things they know aren’t right, no matter what the letter next to their name is. Compromise with evil all you want; just don’t cry when you lose and nobody cares.

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

@mattyglesias I’m voting for Stevens because I think we need more lumpy, foreign-sponsored 1920s carnival barkers in the upper chamber

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

@PopBase I thought they weren’t in session

[Dani @DaniAsteri_]

@Michaeldudufudu @TransAndMerican Everyone on Earth is a sinner may we all be granted mercy in the end

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

@TheCalvinCooli1 I don’t give a shit frankly. Go for it.

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

@KerminAlbert @MSUalum2015 @Spelt_D_o_n_a_l @Vikinghistory After the twilight zone movie I thought we all agreed that sacrificing realism for safety is something only nerds get mad about

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

Unique trope: sports figures who were clearly evil but we couldn’t help but have a grudging respect for

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

After further review, the ruling on the field is overturned: Mitch McConnell is probably still alive

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

Gen alpha didn’t have Mario kart wii growing up and it shows

[Stephen Fleming @StephenFleming]

Yet another friend with a child turning 16 next week. Hasn’t gotten a learner’s permit. Zero interest in a driver’s license. I keep hearing this same story.

What’s WRONG with these kids?!?! On my 16th birthday, my mom took me out of school to take my driving test. Same for everyone I knew.

Even if you couldn’t afford your own car, you could beg the use of the family station wagon occasionally. Freedom. Independence. Heck, privacy on a date! Are these kids giving all that up for scrolling TikTok and an occasional Uber?

[The Perotniverse @Perotniverse]

Fred Gutenberg when the universe kills people he doesn’t like: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!

Fred Gutenberg when the universe kills his kid: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.