chaunceydepew

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

New band idea: a @coldplay cover band and we dress up like @coldplay and cover @coldplay songs. Our name is Cosplay.

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

Do you think cops ever have roller rink nights and call them “To Protect and Swerve”?

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

Tekashi 69 Go Lean

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

@KingsOfLeon playing at the nfl draft is perfect. Every coordinator has to say “you know that I could use somebody, someone like youuuu” everytime they call a newly drafted player. #NFLDraft2021

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

@RummerBabe hey, how do mirrors work?

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

@PhilaParking this person parked their car in a clearly labeled handicap spot and went to eat at fiorella pasta between 8th & 9th and Christian. No handicap tag in site. Also made the host rearrange their table in times of social distancing. Plz slap them with a proper ticket.

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

Can you furlough a President?

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

@zeereneec I’m having the best borthday of my life. #livetweetofmylife

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

New movie idea: “Deuce Bigelow Male Juggalo”. Gimme a woot woot if you agree. @RobSchneider

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

Million dollar idea: edible long underwear

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

@duttypaul what does tomahawk technique mean? Tell me baby girl cuz I need to know.

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

Bruce Bon Springsteen

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

Bovine Bon Jovi

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

DJ Jenerous is Ellen Degeneres’ dj name.

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

Barrel aged Pepsi

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

@MBMBaM Are you Marshall?

[UhhhPete @UhhhPeter]

I just caught my coworker googling Glen Close.

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

Are all golden retrievers Protestant?

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

I'm a little sad that I can never own a dog and walk through the infinite meadow with it.

[chaunceydepew @PeteMurrayPhoto]

"This guy fax"- the office loser to the office cool guy