Bryan Pfaff

If I laugh at my own jokes, does that still make me funny?

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

Wondering why your girl isn’t with you?

She’s at my place playin Oregon Trail.

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

Antivaxers implies the existence of “uncle”vaxers

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

Was I the only one that didn’t read the caption and went straight to looking for Waldo?

[New Scientist @newscientist]

The population debate: Are there too many people on the planet? https://t.co/GDmnKXSEyv

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

There should be a toilet paper conversion chart

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

Can’t stop thinking about the fact that if Covid-19 happened in the Shrek universe, Farquad’s kingdom would be in Dulockdown

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

Honestly, 2020 is what we deserve as a species for killing Harambe.

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

I’ve been expanding my mind during quarantine, hopefully she notices.

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

@notviking

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

Teacher: Ok class, find Waldo!

Blink-182 in Kindergarten: WHERE ARE YOUUUUUU???

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

All we really need right now 😔

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

My Quarentine checklist:
1: Nothing’s wrong with me.

2: Nothing’s wrong with me.

3: Nothing’s wrong with me.

4: Nothing’s wrong with me.

Covid-19:
1: Something’s got to give.

2: Something’s got to give.

3: Something’s got to give.

4: Something’s got to give now.

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

Panic! At The Disco: I’d chime in with a haven’t you people ever heard of, closing the goddamn door?!

Panic! At The Disco’s dad: Damn right, we’re not trying to heat the whole neighborhood.

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

I’m asking Santa for a girlfriend this Valentines Day.

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

So do cool people ever trip walking up the stairs?

Or is it just not cool people like me?

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

@JLain68 I ask myself this question on a daily basis

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

Disney+1 cuz my wife has her boyfriend over😔

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

Ur crying over a guy that doesn’t know how to read a Venn Diagram.

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

If I had a dollar for every snapchat story of snow I saw today...I’d probably be able to pay off my student loans

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

Sandy: Why are you doing this?!

[Officer into radio]: Yeah we got her, she didn’t have a valid permit...no more selling sea shells by the sea shore for this scum.

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

“U miss this pussy?” No, I miss my Tomagatchi, Harold, he was like a son to me😔

[Bryan Pfaff @PfaffBryan]

Hey girl are you a Scantron Test because you’re a

⚪️A 🔘B ⚪️C ⚪️D ⚪️E

🔘A ⚪️B ⚪️C ⚪️D ⚪️E

⚪️A 🔘B ⚪️C ⚪️D ⚪️E

⚪️A ⚪️B ⚪️C ⚪️D 🔘E