PFGA World Championship

World pro star footgolf champion titans take each other on making them all seem normal size. Est. 2019

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This guy is a pathetic worm

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Anyone wearing a coat pays the toll. One shot per hole.

Play gay? That the price to pay

Fucking poetry

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Odds on Paul turning up with his usual three cans of Jack Daniel’s and coke

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Seed #1 - Paddy

Prefered terrain: Hinge

Last years champ. A popular one, albeit it not with the girls, finally breaking the duopoly of Ross and Tal. Once DQ’d for doping and not drinking and still didn’t win. Expected to put up a good challenge but fade. Gay?

Prediction - 3rd

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This guy has a wotsit penis

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Seed #3 - Ross

Preferred terrain: Pond

Jeez look at the size of that forehead.

Prediction - 2nd.

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Seed #2 - Tal

Preferred terrain: Urban warzone

Unpleasant to watch and even hard to like. Surprisingly good at footgolf though amid. Suspicions remain around doping by nursing cans round the course.

Prediction: 1st

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Seed #4 - Martin

Prefered terrain: Australian outback

Martin once relocated to Australia in pursuit of a surface he finds more natural. Unfortunately the only thing thing that comes naturally to him back in England are growing his huge tits.

Prediction - 5th.

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Seed #5 - Tom

Prefered terrain: Council Estate

Tom finally nailed peak alcoholism last year and controlled his brown to claim 2nd. Fully expected to overdo it again this year and slip from the lead to last over the back 9 whilst chanting stop the boats.

Prediction - 7th.

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Seed #6 - Billy

Prefered terrain: Dark forest

This suspicious man likes woods with nothing but a trowel where no one can hear or see him. Always on the run from A&E, the tiredness from parenthood and late night ‘hunting trips’ is expected to trip him up.

Prediction - 6th.

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Seed #7 - PY

Prefered terrain: Swamp

This extraordinary creature is half-blind, half-deaf, and chipping one ball over another is the best it can do in life. At home best in a murky swamp, might stand a chance in this years changeable weather.

Prediction - 4th.

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What? More stats? Ok.

Winners:
Ross (4)
Tal (3)
Pat (1)

Wooden Spoons:
Paul (4)
Tom (2)
Will (1)
Martin (1)

Appearances:

Ross (8)
Martin (8)
PY (8)
Tal (7)
Tom (7)
Will (6)
Pat (6)

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After last years shock new winner Paddy, along with Tom the Mong finishing second, here’s the updated power rankings:

1st - Tal: avg. 2.28➖
2nd - Ross: avg. 2.62➖
3rd - Pat: avg. 2.83➖
4th - Martin: avg. 3.5➖
5th - Tom: avg. 4.57⬆️
6th - Will: avg. 5⬇️
7th - Paul: avg. 5⬇️

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Here. We. Go.

It’s the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.

Wait no. It’s the Fucking 9th Footgolf World Championship

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Inquiry complete - Tal has been stripped of all previous titles and they’ll be shared equally between Tom and Paul young

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The public outrage about this match fixing is substantial. The league has decided to undergo a full inquiry into Tal’s previous scoring and he has been suspended from play until further notice

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Tom actually won it after Tal and Patrick match fixing scandal

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play it as it lies

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Play it as it lies

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Anyone that’s not Ross or Tal can’t be docked shots for arriving late

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First World championship since 2022 with a full complement of 7 players. Will this be too many players for Tal to keep track of and fix the score? Unlikely, but we can only hope