Phil Dunphy

I'm the cool dad, that's my thaaaang.

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

The only thing I ever stole was my high school production of The Wiz.

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

Claire, you're the type of person who can be twice as scary without wearing any makeup.

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

One day your kids are holding your hand so tight it hurts, next they're eating the apple you kinda wanted.

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

http://t.co/uWtUA7xqxz

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

http://t.co/NVwD2d6b2B

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

I bet I was the only dad at graduation not wearing pants.

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

Boys versus girls. Testosterone versus oestrogen. Standing up to pee versus the squat.

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

They're not getting high, they're making a movie.. Without me!

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

She's my wife's dad's second wife, so legally okay, but still weird.

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

You are not the man you used to be. You get up four times at night to pee. You are super duper old now!

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

I got you a snow cone, it's your favourite flavour.. Blue!

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

It's time to stop whining like little girls and man up. Let's put on our unitards!

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

Yes, I deal with a lot of lonely women, but there's only one I'm married to.

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

On my lower back, I will tattoo the words 'Go Deep.' BAM!

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

Well do you like this suit? I wouldn't know because all you said was that it was tight and not in a cool, black way.

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

I'm kind of in a delicate spot stuck between my wife and the guy next door, but I'm pretty sure I can satisfy them both simultaneously.

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

Cheerleading was cool in my college. The football players were so jealous they wouldn't even let me and my buddies go to their parties.

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

Hayley we do trust you, it's just that weird stuff happens at concerts. Boys get... urges.

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

I am completely onboard your mother's horse and buggy to yesteryear. For the next week I may as well be Amish. Jebediah Dunphy!

[Phil Dunphy @PhilDunphyQuote]

Now that his honey gots her own money, daddy went and snagged himself some new threads girllll!