Phil Marshall

Husband, daddy, ghetto poet, business owner, ex professional RL player, ex amateur RL player, basic windows knowledge, GSOH, OHAC, NS.

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@piersmorgan @GMB This is hard to watch but the funeral director is maintaining his understanding of the rules for public safety. These people have literally a grave job to do and are mixing with the public daily putting their own lives at risk. How about we spare a thought before we persecute.

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@johnbateman1 We all know you’re the founder of the BBCC! 🤣

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@Joshuacharnley Spray fox piss around the perimeter of your garden. How you get your hands on some I’m not sure.

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@piersmorgan @Adele @katyperry THC content is way stronger than it was in the 60s. If Adele looks like KP then I must be the double of @TheRock

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@gillinghamjoe I feel the same about cellophane on toilets. The sound is very similar to that of my blocked gutter and rain water landing on my wheelie bin directly below. The only problem is my bathroom smells like a amateur rugby league dugout.

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@johnbateman1 @RLPlayers A positive post/ statement and people can turn it into a negative. Jog on naysayers!

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@piersmorgan But did he order the code red?

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@piersmorgan @KimKardashian Lucky you. I never got a reply when I wrote to Jim’ll Fix It.

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@RHunterPaul

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@chrissyteigen I hope you didn’t leave them in the oven too long. You’ve already burnt one set of biscuits.

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@piersmorgan Welll done, you’ve tried broadcasting the news and failed and now you’re attempting comedy. Here’s a great joke for you!
“Knock, knock"
"Who's there?"
"Interrupting cow"
"Interrupting co...”
"MOOOOOO!"
#GMB #knockknock #yourewelcome

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@gillinghamjoe I watched a documentary on Cereal Killers once. How the sugar tax destroyed the production of zero nutrition high sugar cereals the like of Lucky Charms. Other good watches are How A Spoonful Of Sugar Made The Medicine Go Down But Ruined My Liver. TML

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@gillinghamjoe I made a cup of tea with some hot ice cubes once when Yorkshire Water were doing some repair work.

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@piersmorgan It got Twitter hacking scandal all over this this.

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@piersmorgan Until our PM @BorisJohnson lifts the lockdown then we are in lockdown simple. The actions of Dominic Cummings should have no baring on common sense. He’s fucked up and should be dealt with accordingly. You can’t blame him for others stupidity should they flaunt the rules.

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

The world or my world at least is now experiencing gridlocked traffic all for a fucking overpriced coffee. #lockdown #bumpertobumper #costafuckingfortune #putthekettleon #thisisnotessentialshopping
#costa

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

Gonna need a new set of pans after #lockdown

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@JMTWriter @joelycett It was either released too early or Carole Baskin has something to do with it plummeting down the chart. Mr Blobby had a Christmas No1 and 3 weeks on the top spot.

[Phil Marshall @PhilMarshall_]

@gillinghamjoe A finger will be enough to milk the prostate and it won’t attract maypole dancers.