a rat filled with cough drops

Copywriter. The Miles Davis of troubling flatulence. Original tweets are typed in the time between cheeks hitting porcelain and hand flushing toilet.

[a rat filled with cough drops @PhilWilson93]

Am I fuck sending wee messages to 15 year olds

[Meriel @MerielMyers]

If you could send a message using 5 words or less to your 15 year old self what would you say?

[a rat filled with cough drops @PhilWilson93]

I have a feeling my Twitter is dead, but nonetheless: @LPBMagazine were kind enough to publish a short story of mine! It's a nice one, full of gentle men.

https://t.co/WvjrDWIrNc

[a rat filled with cough drops @PhilWilson93]

Hello! Can't remember when I last logged in to Xwitter... But the lovely people at Product Magazine have published a short story of mine! It would be very cool if you followed them, shared their posts, and also read my story. Heads-up: it indirectly discusses the death of a child

[Product magazine @scottishproduct]

Mighty pleased to publish
THE LAST LIVING PIECE OF YOU
by @PhilWilson93 as this week's Saturday Story
#shortstories #newwriting #fiction #Scotland
https://t.co/DEeYgz8CWi

[a rat filled with cough drops @PhilWilson93]

Worst comment on YouTube, man

[a rat filled with cough drops @PhilWilson93]

Has anybody made a meme of James Corden and they other folk dancing in front of the trolley problem graphic yet?

[Owen Jones @owenjonesjourno]

I see people are praising Theresa May, so I'm going to tap the sign

[Ed Conway @EdConwaySky]

THREAD: How did we end up here? With the UK’s plans to lift lockdown threatened by a new variant. Just as we taste freedom, it might be stolen from us! Well. It’s a slightly long and circuitous story and, believe it or not, the best place to start is with Brexit…

[a rat filled with cough drops @PhilWilson93]

@cooljinzo EE (Evil Energy)

[David Hering @hering_david]

We now go live to the captain of the Suez cargo ship

[GFT @glasgowfilm]

Glasgow is the Cinema City 🎞️ We're proud to call it our home.

We love this beautiful exploration of Glasgow's cinema history from @KelvingroveArt ✨

📺 Watch: https://t.co/Vm75o3ntbT

[Jonathan Nunn @demarionunn]

this is the least of the things that’s fucked about this, but where are all the free speech shaggers right now? penning op-ed after op-ed about woke cancel culture while civil liberties are being taken away.

[JEDWARD @planetjedward]

Get that Winston Churchill statue and fuck it into Piers Morgan’s back garden it has no place in today’s society!

[a rat filled with cough drops @PhilWilson93]

What are cramps, if not the semi-cooked pizza persevering?

[David Hering @hering_david]

Ozymandias (1818)

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

Just found this funny as hell tweet that perfectly describes this situation with an almost eerie accuracy

[a rat filled with cough drops @PhilWilson93]

Atlas Tugged

[a rat filled with cough drops @PhilWilson93]

Thought the 'Queen's speech' was, like, a daft punchline folk threw about until my 20s

[a rat filled with cough drops @PhilWilson93]

Santa better no buckin come into my house the night ill tell you that amount of houses hes been in!! 🤣😂😂💪💪 get that mask on bigyin! 😂😂😷😷🎄🎄🎅🎅🎅