Chris

[Chris @PhilaTTP]

“No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality.”

[Andrew Hilary🇵🇸 @AndrewHilaryUS]

If I got the explosive diarrhea parasite I probably wouldn’t even notice.

[Chris @PhilaTTP]

Just got the call from Mitch McConnell. He is signing with the Cavs

[Chris @PhilaTTP]

@tomjc09 Last i saw, he was stable

[Chris @PhilaTTP]

@CliffNotez_ Delayed vibes

[Chris @PhilaTTP]

@DiscussingFish Odin going to be told a bunch of somethings

[Chris @PhilaTTP]

Windhorst making assumptions on vibes is so funny because that dude probably kills every single vibe when he walks through the door. #lebron

[nikki mccann ramírez @NikkiMcR]

Spoke to Mitch McConnell, the doctors were able to reconstruct his vocal chords using a 3D printer and he made this sound at me for 20 minutes

[Lyth ♠️ @Lytherian]

blood is like food for vampires so imagine going to the club and you’re getting sprayed by like melted cheese and bean dip

[Big Tom Callahan🇺🇸 @CallahanAutoCo]

BRAKING NEWS: I just got off the phone with Mitch McConnell and he agreed to buy 500,000 Brake Pads on behalf of the Great State of Kentucky!

[Chris @PhilaTTP]

I feel obligated to watch this entire movie now

[🕷️Smart Alec🕸️ @_TheSmartAlec1]

Does anyone remember the Peter Pan movie where Hugh Jackman as Not-Captain Hook and his goons sang Smells Like Teen Spirit for some reason

[Chris @PhilaTTP]

If Lebron truly wants to compete for one more ring, he joins the Sixers. If this is all just going to be a goodbye tour and accept his career is all but done, he joins the Cavs.

[Chris @PhilaTTP]

@3YearLetterman @MELLCBBB @ScottJenningsKY

[Chris @PhilaTTP]

@SportsRadioWIP Noah Vonleh would have responded right away

[Chris @PhilaTTP]

You can probably put one of Joey Chestnut’s dumps in the Mutter Museum

[JT @jiratickets]

imagine saying “nothing from my end” here

[Chris @PhilaTTP]

@DiscussingFilm

[Chris @PhilaTTP]

Lebron is gonna do some shit on Saturday like “on this 250 birthday of this great nation, i decided to on life, liberty, and the pursuit of a 5th Championship. I’m taking my talents to Philadelphia”

[Josiah Johnson @KingJosiah54]

The Sixers convincing the Celtics to trade Jaylen Brown

[Chris @PhilaTTP]

@BillSimmons @ZachLowe_NBA Sixers fan here. I can help you with that first thing.

[Sixers Nation @PHLSixersNation]

Nobody:

Mike Gansey 10 days on the job: