BREAKING: Senator Lindsey Graham dies of injuries from the cyclosporiasis virus after explosive diarrhea was detonated directly in his ass-kissing face at point blank range. During the autopsy it took medical examiners two hours just to remove the smile from his face.
Mitch McConnell has FINALLY released that proof of life video and demonstration of his fitness to continue serving as a United States senator. Thanks Mitch, we appreciate you. Much love.
I was chatting to Mitch for 20 minutes earlier. I don't know what those doctors have him on, but he's in fine fettle. He did this little Thriller cameo for y'all doubters...
Whoever is saying that Mitch McConnell is ill, or even worse d3ad, doesn't know what they're talking about. Clearly Mitch still has lots of gas left in the tank!