Tactical Playboy

My only flaw is my personality

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

Cris Collinsworth: now here’s a guy who used give a damn

Tony Romo: eeee ooo I don’t know about that one Cris, he never gave a fuck

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

@kootybobbers You simply gotta hit em with da minion fo today

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

@HowDoILogOff Do I look like I want 3s pal?

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

She waka on my flocka till I flame

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

I actually would believe my eyes if ten million fireflies lit up the sky as I fell asleep.

I’m him.

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

1: Little Lad Who Loves Berries & Cream - Unclear if actually a pilgrim, but this is a plausible origin theory. Probably the least racist.

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

In the spirit of the season these are the top pilgrims, ranked in order (thread):

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

2: The Mayflower - Fundamental to the pilgrimage, but a bit dated relative to modern maritime standards. Probably the pilgrim most folks would want to share a beer with.

[the most normal guy on this app @d0nt_at_me_]

Choose wisely

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

Trying out a new intermittent paleo lifestyle. 18 hours of hunting and gathering followed by 8 hours of charge my iPhone, eat hot chip, and lie.

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

@EnnDee23 You win the internet today, sir! 😭

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

@HowDoILogOff @LucasTheMagnif Counterpoint: no, quite the opposite

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

@hgargan Is it a university or a failing small town newspaper, tough to say

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

I like to think that I get in the shower as the explicit version and exit as the radio edit

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

Life isn’t the number bruhs you take, it’s the number moments that take the bruhs away 🕊

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

Change dot org petition: replace thanksgiving turkey with chicken wings, and replace gravy with buffalo sauce

(Cc: @bousquet919)

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

@LeezyEffMaybe @TotesMisty Okay but what do a donkey sound like tho

[Tactical Playboy @phlocka]

@richhomiewom Sorry folks, but if you’ve ever used the story feature on Instagram you’re now canceled