Phoenix Nights

Ladies and Gentlemen... and Roy, Welcome to The Phoenix Club

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

Flower for the lady?

FUCK OFF

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

THEY'RE STONE BASTARD COLD THESE

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

THEY USED 'TOUCH ME UP ON TAGGART YOU KNOW

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

DON'T TELL HIM ME NAME, DICKHEAD

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

ITS THE MIDWEEK LOTTERY

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

THERE WERE NONE OF THIS ON BERGERAC

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

ITS THEM TWO TITS THAT! I HAD THAT IN THE BAG THEN

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

TAXI FOR POTTER TAXI FOR POTTER OUTSIDEEEE OVERRRRRR

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

£3995?!

STICK WITH THE VOLVO MAX KEEP DREAMIN'

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

"A mate of mine had a jacuzzi in his"
DID HE? JUST THE ONE?!

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

HAVE YOU SWEPT THAT COCK UP YET?

Most of it, one of the balls went over next door. Said we can't have it back

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

LY-CHEESE?

"It's a pudding"

I KNOW WHAT IT IS, MOUTH

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

I'm very friendly with the SAS

BUT YOU SEE YOU'RE NOT THOUGH, KENNY

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

IS IT BULLETPROOF? ITS NON-STICK!

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

IS IT GOLD OR IS IT CHOCOLATE
IS IT
IS IT GOLD OR IS IT...

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

LIKE I SAY, SHE HAS GOT A COCK, SO YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

I LOST MOST OF MY HAIR WORRYING ABOUT YOURS

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

'ELLO JACKIE
YEAH I GOT YOU THAT PAINT,
CHUCK NORRIS WANTS WHAT?
WOODCHIP?

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

AND WHAT ABOUT SUSHI?

"Who?"

ROY FISH. HES GOT A BAG ON HIS HIP, STILL GOES JOGGIN ROUND THE ESTATE

[Phoenix Nights @PhoenixQuote]

YER SHOULD'A TOLD EM TO TAKE THAT THING!

"They only had a Citroen"