Phony Teixeira

I work at first base in Yankee Stadium. I'll show you my dark side. FAKE PARODY ACCOUNT, NOT ASSOCIATED WITH MARK TEIXEIRA.

[Phony Teixeira @PhonyTex]

What's more important? GGs, WS rings or a cake? #datass

[Phony Teixeira @PhonyTex]

My old team is ass-less without me...

[Phony Teixeira @PhonyTex]

RT If you would use my ass as a pillow.

[Phony Teixeira @PhonyTex]

@Kimtheluck Why thank you ladies ;)

[Phony Teixeira @PhonyTex]

The offseason is a bitter sweat deal. I get head like everyday, but it's angry head.

[Phony Teixeira @PhonyTex]

WTF My derp face in my avi

[Phony Teixeira @PhonyTex]

We all know the LCS and WS will be boring af. Try telling the average Joe who won the WS. He's going to be like "The Cardinals who?"

[Phony Teixeira @PhonyTex]

@Kimtheluck I know! Ugh

[Phony Teixeira @PhonyTex]

@Kimtheluck No :( They took it

[Phony Teixeira @PhonyTex]

Hey guys, I got a HIT!!

[Phony Teixeira @PhonyTex]

@_NYYLovelyHeidy I'll try!

[Phony Teixeira @PhonyTex]

I'm going to try my best to do my part, not only do we have to #BelieveInAJ we also have to #BelieveInTheTEAM

[Godless Paragon @GodlessParagon]

The only way this is Posada's last game is if he refuses to play in Game 5 on Thursday... #weAREwinningTONIGHT

[Phony Teixeira @PhonyTex]

LEAVE ME ALONE.

[Yankees Jesus @YankeesJesus]

Believe in A.J.

[Athena @AthenaNYY]

Ivan Nova > Matt Moore #JustSaying

[Phony Teixeira @PhonyTex]

I should be batting 4th.

[TheGrandyMan @FakeGranderson]

@PhonyARod @FakeDRobertson @PhonyTex @FakeCano @FakeJeter Hope Week is gone, but we can sure have a Hope Night tonight with @FakeAJBurnett

[Phony Teixeira @PhonyTex]

@TeamRobbieCano Nope, they like Tiger cock...