Now that Justin Welby has resigned, I would like all media organisations to be aware that I know a bloke called Johnboy who can belch the phrase "Archbishop of Canterbury".
Get in touch, he's very cheap.
The positive stuff about #PrinceWilliam being placed in the press make me sure there's a shit show due in the weekend papers.
Last week there were stories about how Chas was clamping down on his nonce bro's finances. Cue stories about him and his son being slum landlords.