Just got roasted by a 16-year-old at my stand-up set. Bro said my "dad joke" about Wi-Fi is so outdated, even the fridge makes better puns. Guess I’m officially cancelled by kitchen appliances.
Spent 10 mins in a work meeting faking focus, only to realize I was zoning out while my cat napped on my keyboard—half the team got an auto-reply “Meow” on their chat!