Hank Pine

Dark Thoughts, by Hank.
Writer, actor, comicbook artist, musician, director of TV and jaywalker.

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

Just blew a kiss to an angry dude in a truck who was swearing at me in traffic, and felt like it was a victory for my people.
My people being the sarcastic assholes of the world.

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

Today I acquired a new level of time management that caused me to question my life,
It’s called “sipping coffee while pooping” and I think we all need to slow down a bit.

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

5 Reality Shows I hope to see one day:

1. Puppy Play Parlour (Gay)
2. Touch My Cactus
3. Ghost Lovers
4. Bears Baking Biscuits (GAY)
5. Drake and Kendrick's Lamaze Maze

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

@dive_nn Yes. To do many of these. But that fever ray show I saw was legendary.

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

@brandonhackett Me! I just wrote and directed a campy action TV pilot called The Batshits!

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

@jimbodragclown Hahahaha! Finally! The part where the guide says, has anyone seen "bird on a wire?"
And a silence falls over the crowd, is that still there?

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

Happy Pride Twitter, been a while! Here is crop of crappy drag names brought to you by this ferry boat line-up:
Ladies, gentlemen and others welcome to the stage...

Faye Diddaway

Phyllis Bottom

Lucinda Loafers

Iris Catall

And the crappiest...

(Enter yours here)

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

@MsKatieEllen I always have you in my plans for plan B plans, which is a good thing.

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

"Bears, they 69 and stuff."
-Carolyn Mark
(After informing us that bear tongues and bear vaginas are the same length. 8-10 inches.)

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

@rywilliamscomic https://t.co/ZMBtwiDW3l

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

@hulloharris And I am the new Topsy

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

@ShirleyGnome I would prefer this in cursive against an ocean sunset. Perhaps a mountain. Maybe a dick pic.

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

@Mister_Dach I am the hero here with severe alcohol poisoning

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

Never play "Never Have I Ever" with straight people 12-15 years younger than you.

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

This place is so fancy. The "deconstructed banh mi" is a baguette, pile of meat, and a hairnet.

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

@lazerdoov Ol' Splattertail

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

@Mister_Dach Five. Five am.

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

Those who can't live, coach.

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

@jimbodragclown Yes.

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

@trixiemattel That's DOCTOR Manhattan to you.

[Hank Pine @PineHank]

@jimbodragclown Send me a video of someone getting a swirlie in reverse please