Jacob Pippert

I've been told my future is as bright as my thighs, and that's really, really bright.

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

I'm getting the words "statistically significant" tattooed on my forehead to lock in my dedication to data science

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

@DylanKipp3 It's true and it works. I can kill you 13 different ways from this position.

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

Happy birthday moms

[Realist Idealist @AJC_ryptic]

Emotion is the main motive force behind most human action. It’s the alchemists job sublimate and transmute heavy base emotion into higher and lighter emotion. This is a basic philosophers principle.
Easier said than done, especially in today’s world.

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

@hannahundies I think that fridge was the perfect temperature 😋😋😋

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

@hannahundies Tomorrow is Friday, sweetie, are you already drunk?

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

Ironically all of these are the same symptoms that let me know I'm having a good time

[Fact @Fact]

Alcohol Poisoning: Don’t Ignore These Nine Symptoms... https://t.co/WROA8hY1HE

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

@hannahundies This tweet is going to age so poorly

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

@Dolpho55 I just got done backpacking in Virginia a few weeks ago and it's beautiful. Elk Garden and Grayson Highlands if you want to go south.

Shenandoah Valley if you want to be north

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

I am absolutely devastated about Norm Macdonald. Norm had the most unique comedic voice I have ever encountered and he was so relentlessly and uncompromisingly funny. I will never laugh that hard again. I'm so sad for all of us today.

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

@hailmmiller I can definitely visualize things easily too, but those images are in the aether as opposed to an actual image that blocks my vision, you know?

You should read the Art of Memory too! The book does a good job of building upon this idea.

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

@Shepaka9k You're the human equivalent of crystal meth

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

@Shepaka9k I don't have time to deal with you today

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

Please stop asking me if I'm on steroids, I swear I just naturally have a small penis.

[Cernovich @Cernovich]

Is it too much to ask that our public health officials *look* healthy?

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

@k_roe_ I feel you, bro

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

@DothTheDoth @Tynomikon our new campaign is about to be like this

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

@k_roe_ I tried once, but ended up just shitting myself.

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

@Shepherd15Jenna Please just stare at their chest when you're talking to them

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

@ChristianStalt1 @hannahundies Yeah bro, you ☝️☁️👼💪

[Jacob Pippert @Pipto_bismul]

@hannahundies @ChristianStalt1 I know he is a a gentleman, a saint, and quite possibly the closest thing to a god. A big, beefy, god. With abs