The Hypixel Pit Conclave

Tweets from the official Hypixel Pit Conclave. Welcome to conclabe, we make da pit.

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

UPDATE: Hypixel admins announce they are “willing to update” the game if “just a few of you nerds just give up your pathetic, writhing souls.”

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

UPDATE: Due to inflation, there are now 128.3 levels in each prestige.

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

We’re introducing a brand-new feature to the game: please welcome the “Pit Shield,” which will protect players from having to play The Pit for a brief period of time.

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

UPDATE: The combat logs that appear when players die have been replaced with handwritten notes from Conclave members with various insults on them.

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

Hi everyone! We're pleased to announce that we're donating our entire revenue of $1,680 to charity—the Charity for Giving Conclave Members Exuberant Raises! This donation will allow us to write off a few dollars in taxes. Thanks for contributing to the welfare of the Hypixel Pit!

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

Happy Pit Day to all! This year, in addition to doubling the XP and gold, we'll also be doubling the number of updates we make. Hope everyone enjoys the event!

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

In order to discourage bullying and in-game “hunting,” Game Masters are now banning Pit players with more than three friends in real life.

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

Hello players! Bad news: a senior member missed the deadline to get the next update's notes to administration, reportedly because his alarm clock didn't go off. Unfortunately, the update will be delayed another year. Our sincerest apologies.

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

UPDATE: In order to cut down on server lag, the Conclave has decided to make The Pit a one-player game. Anyone found playing The Pit when it’s already in use will be severely punished.

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

UPDATE: Conclave’s request to annex portions of the western United States to create the country of Pitlandia has been declined by the government of Oregon. Admins have described the failure as “a shameful day for all gamers.”

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

PATCH: We’ve fixed a bug that allowed the /ignore command to work on certain Conclave members.

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

Hello everyone. Treasury & Commerce have informed us that they overestimated how many Inferno Demonlords had to be imported for SkyBlock. The extras will be released into The Pit. Stay safe!

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

The seat for the Hypixel Player Council’s Pit representative has been vacated. Because of this, we have been informed that the vacated seat will be divided evenly between every Conclave member and eaten accordingly.

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

Due to an extremely productive year, the median Conclave member’s salary has increased by 20% to $218,450.

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

We have no idea what is going on. Please stay calm while the temporal anomaly gets sorted out.

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

Hello everyone! While preparing to release a new major event, we attempted to create a new "virus" effect to emulate a pathogen for players to avoid. However, Mini misunderstood what we meant by "virus". We implore all users to check their devices for malware. Immediately.

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

NEW: “Mediocre Events,” the intermediary step between major and minor events, are coming to the next version of The Pit. Sample mediocre events include “Pizza but a Bit Worse,” “2.05x Rewards,” “Spire With Just Two Floors,” “Tranquil Pit,” and many more.

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

NOTICE: The Hypixel Pit will be down for the next eight days in order to rewire the servers because Fred kept tripping on them, causing brief lag spikes and server outages. The map rotation will be unaffected, so a map will be skipped. We apologize for the inconvenience.

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

UPDATE: The Conclave has decided that in order to reduce server lag, all players must now take turns breathing. “Inhaling is a privilege, not a right,” stated a member.

[The Hypixel Pit Conclave @PitConclave]

For some reason, the authenticity of these Tweets have been called into question by several users. Rest assured—this account is run by real Conclave members. All of our statements are 100% accurate to the views and ideas of The Conclave as a whole.