Mike Smith

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@Acyn His voice sounds like if someone was building a speech synthesizer and hadn’t quite got it to sound like a human yet.

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@shannonsharpeee Y’all invite me to a restaurant like this, you best believe I’m making sure _in advance_ that I won’t be expected to pay 😂

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@AlexTTV_ @capone__da__don @DailyLoud Nah, actually I beat you first, see:
https://t.co/L69JnpF1gS

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@ms_kenner @fatfabfeminist The writers of the Torah didn’t even know that microscopic creatures exist, so I think we’re good.

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@brendonwalsh @clownworld And this one is dumb as a rock

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@contactabrother “Our country has fucking failed us!”
“Based.”

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@vidsthatgohard She picked the wrong top to start a fight in

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

When Lindsay Lohan did Playboy

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@swiftoursonggg

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@xPlatinumShanel I feel bad for her. Not only is she experiencing this gut-wrenching scene, but she also got a dude filming her and laughing at her. Kinda messed up if you ask me.

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@BornAKang There but by the grace of god go I.

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@israelpadilla__ Bro is questioning his sexuality

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@RonFilipkowski It is time yet again for Republicans to admit that this man is not a Republican.

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@yaeyx @DrFuManchu8 The most unrealistic thing about National Treasure (2004) is that the Fed gave Nic Cage’s character any of the treasure at the end.

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@akcurit @brianstelter Security? What he do, pull a gun?

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@EBITDAddyLBO

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@DailyLoud Some say the truck had been plotting the attack for years

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@DavidWa40486343 @ackernen @fermatslibrary Energy, frequency, and vibration are all described precisely by mathematics.

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@_MichaelMadlock @Universal_Ken @gunsnrosesgirl3 The difference between science and religion is that the moment natural selection is disproven, scientists will discard it. There is no dogma in science.

[Mike Smith @PizzaQuid]

@HumansNoContext