Phillip Riley

I'm a mostly self employed eBay reseller, local historian, and delivery driver. I also enjoy writing local Gothic folklore.

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

I discovered I can kill mosquitoes and flies with a rolled-up bandana and a flick of the wrist.

So naturally, Hollywood called.

TACTICAL BANDANA
This time, they never saw it coming.
#FakeMovie #Parody #Funny

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

@Asmongold The Jester-Prophet Tarot card.
#Tarot #Funny #Parody

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

They said I was crazy. Then they saw the business model: No rent. No commute.
Just me, a homemade shanty boat, and a floating 10×15 eBay storage unit headed for the next treasure hunt. Sometimes the dumbest ideas make the funniest YouTube thumbnails.
#eBaySeller #BoatLife #Parody

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

Dobbs & Dumper
When the common man comes up in life.
#EatTheRich #ComicStrip

😁 Have you ever taken anything from a coatroom?

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

Bill Burr is Mister Ed, finally a movie I'd pay to see!

#FakeMovie #Poster

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

What happens when you come back from the dead...

...and discover everyone was happier, richer, healthier, and emotionally well-adjusted without you?

This holiday season, Death gets a second chance at life.

#FakeMovie #DarkHumor #Parody

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

Check out this retro inspired Stargate movie. Staring Kurt Russell and James Spader.

#Stargate #Poster #Retro

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

Paul Bunyan and Babe the Big Blue Ox are

WALKING TALL

*Not coming to a theatre this fall*
#FakeMove #Parody #Funny

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

They don’t throw shade. They petrify.
Mean Gorgons: high school drama with a mythological bite.
#MeanGirls #Gorgons #Fantasy

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

The Burning Bush: Live!
Hosted by the Burning Bush, interviewing confused biblical figures who really didn't ask for this
Balaam's donkey (tells his side of the story)
Pharaoh (claims "frogs were fake news")
Jesus ("Water into wine was a party trick")
#Parody #TalkShow #Funny

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

Pizza delivery is a tougher job than you think. Don't forget to tip your driver.

#Tarot #Funny #PizzaNight

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

What I learned for losing literally everything...
Job vs God Ted Interview.
Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?
#TedTalks #Parody

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

This retro style poster is for my kids who loved watching My Little Pony growing up.
#Poster #mylittlepony #mlp

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

https://t.co/U4XCtBVg9h has entered its comedy era. It just recommended “Features: Special Needs” for a toddler costume sewing pattern. I think it saw “Costume Pattern for Dummies” and made a bold interpretive leap. Lesson: check before clicking "Apply all".

@eBay @AskeBay

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

Just a little fun. I found this Mario puzzle at a yard sale and put it together with my mom. She loves puzzles, so it was great finding one we enjoyed together. I framed it and hung it on the wall with this Mario canvas I picked up.
#Nostalgia #YardSale #RetroGamming

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

Kroger has gone from my go-to grocery store to a store that traded chicken day, pizza deals, and a commons area for liquor shelves and digital price tags. I guess loyalty only goes one way.

[The Abuja Konnect @Realestwhilz0]

Bro politely explained it instead of violence

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

Kroger is plastered too...

A friend was putting flyers on cars in the Kroger parking lot and they tell me Kroger is plastered. This is what I think!

[Phillip Riley @PlainPhillip]

Be back next week.