"If you're not going to play in a way that is conducive to my winning, I'm not sure I want to play you at all," I tell my 7-year-old niece, while unplugging her controller and deleting her from my social media.
Let me be clear: existence, and by extension, greatness, was foisted upon me. I never asked or wanted this responsibility, so you can forgive me for being an asshole from time to time.