Fake Plastic Love

Weaponising sarcasm to fight polymer lovers.

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

Hi @milkandmore I had a door canvasser from @ModernMilkman_ tell me you get your milk flown in from Germany. 🤔Any truth in that?

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

@rob_miller12345 @kenahodson @eddiemair @LBC In which case no doubt you'll be happy to volunteer then. Good on you mate 👍👍

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

@Robert___Harris @marcusbrig What you mean the “Strong and stable” government? Surely not.

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

These “Barn” eggs are not only cheap but come in this brilliant see-through single-use packaging so you can be 100% sure you are buying eggs without having to open a pesky paper box! Thanks @sainsburys

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

@cullyjohnston @AGoldmund Similarly I always thought a lead balloon would go down rather well.

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

Juvenile jars need protecting with single-use plastic tamper seals. Adult jars can look after themselves. Isn’t that right @Hellmanns ?

[Whole Earth Foods @wholeearthfoods]

@PlasticShmastic Hi - The plastic around the lid is a tamper seal. We give careful consideration to all of our products, recipes and packaging and we appreciate it when our consumers get in touch with suggestions. We have passed your comments to our Brand Mangers.

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

@wholeearthfoods Excellent. Hope your brand managers deem them suitably off brand. Thanks for the response.

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

Love these single-use anti-tamper cuffs from @wholeearthfoods The comfort in knowing my peanut butter hasn’t been spat in is worth every one of the 450 years it’ll take to break these suckers down. 👍

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

@mskerrylewis So basically they’ll going to stop selling them after Halloween. Martyrs!

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

@thezerowaster @zerowastenearme @wholeearthfoods Obviously worried about the jars losing their self-esteem

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

@RedPlammer @replyall @themackint0sh Guess you don't want to hear the story about the death of my Tamagotchi back in '93 either?

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

Why carve a real pumpkin that will decompose in a month when you can carve a polystyrene pumpkin that will outlive your great grandchildren! Leave a real mark on the world with this beautiful idea from @Poundland

https://t.co/849zRAFf9i

[kerry lewis @mskerrylewis]

Are you mad @poundland?? Selling polystyrene pumpkins to carve at home? Are you not aware of the environmental crisis that befalls us and our oceans!? Where do you think all that polystyrene will end up? #halloween #saynotoplastic @mcsuk @2minbeachclean @AberBeachBudz

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

Can we have a round of applause for the comedy genius of @BootsUK! I give you... Non plastic cotton buds in a PLASTIC box! Jokes or what?! Vegan sandwich wrapped in ham anyone? You bloody legends!

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

@bbcthree Hmmmm I'm pretty sure I can see a mini quiche in there.

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

Please people! The @QuornFoods fillet is a sophisticated creature and cannot be expected to travel in CARDBOARD like its southern fried cousins. Plastic is so much more refined don’t you think? Like... SO refined. #PlasticPollution

[Fake Plastic Love @PlasticShmastic]

Thanks @sainsburys for providing my lasagne with a window. Some fools would call it unnecessary but you and I know that pasta is extremely scared of the dark and if stressed will release adrenaline negatively effecting the favour. #grateful