Andrew Plate

I am not you.

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

@ReelBigFish remember when you had to ask the crowd to move the stadium back so more people could watch the side stage. That was awesome!

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

Its not self quarantine, its a plague'cation!!

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

@tacobell store number 023488 is the best af!

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

Potlucks are minimal food exchanges for maximum results

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

It's been a long day of avoiding falling asleep in my chair until its a proper time for falling asleep in my bed

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

IT'S AMAZING HOW WE HAVE LEARNED TO READ ALL CAPS AS YELLING AND GET ANNOYED WHEN NOT USED THAT WAY.

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

#whatisthisthing

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

Is it my internet or am i the only one that fears going back more than 30 seconds on a movie im streaming is risking adding 5 minutes to the run time?

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

Aluminum can't be that bad for you... from what else am i going to make my foil hats?

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

They didnt smoke weed in the middle ages because the munchies sucked that bad

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

When will society achieve the point to which they dont have to parenthetically explain on a frozen meal package to people, that when pulling back the film on a microwave dinner, it will be "hot".

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

Just found out that i am the same age as Tony Stark in Iron Man I. Wtf have i done with my life...

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

I can't wait til the Transformers get their Batman Begins

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

@WhatTheFFacts Hey played a gay dog

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

Love is a comforting word but not a comfortable feeling.

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

@Mastakel Luke or Owen Wilson either would kill it

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

I can't wait to start my autobiography with the circumstances of my conception.

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

Today, i confused the circle jerks with the dead Kennedys. I can do better. I will.

[Andrew Plate @PlateAndrew]

A literal dozen of you saw that last tweet... if you're lucky.