Shane

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

When you find your cat napping in your bed, you tuck her in. I don’t make the rules…

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

Why is the internet trying to work “demure” into random sentences like they’re writing a college admissions essay? Did y’all just learn a new word?

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

@Jetpakjohnny Kobe didn’t listen to the haters and neither should you!

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

@BrogiesRevenge Ugh I was so confident when I took Nevada lol 😔

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

“Christ first” in bio lmao 🤡

[Lauren Witzke @LaurenWitzkeDE]

Can’t wait for the work robots to replace these people.

They have to go back!

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

[Bene Gesserit voice]

“55 burgers, 55 fries, 55 tacos, 55 pies…”

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

@iK9cards I would’ve given a fourth for Keenan Allen in a heartbeat, I don’t care if he’s old.

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

@iK9cards I used to hate it as a kid because the daughter was mean to me in grade school but now I’ll inhale 10 slices of that shit at a time lol

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

@BrogiesRevenge No fucking way!

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

@iK9cards Bro three first rounders. Unreal.

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

@BrndnStrssng @Clarknova1 I’m all for the 3-hour movies but can we get a short intermission in theaters so I don’t have to piss my pants or miss major plot points?

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

@oliverhansen022 Personally I am freaking the fuck out

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

We are so losing the tiger wars

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

Tiger population comparison by country

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

@capsinfour @penguins - signed, a Pens fan 😔

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

@mclovenxoxo

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEEE!!!!!

[Bored Swiftie @boredswiftpolls]

What are the first five words of the National Anthem?

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

@BrogiesRevenge Lol fortunately there are no plagiarism laws on Twitter, but I think we both have the correct take here!

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

Prisoners deserved better tbh

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

@yomike_ I think it’s on par with Sicario. Dune Part Two and Arrival are rightfully at the top though. The rest is up for debate in my opinion.

[Shane @PleaseStopShane]

@capsinfour I pronounce it “car-a-mel” when it’s in liquid form and “car-mul” when it’s in solid form, so what now?