Why I don’t have an OF
T/W: objectification, sexism, sexual assault, suicide, intimate partner violence, eating disorders, bulimia, PTSD
When I was in college, I felt objectified. My freshman year, I was sexually assaulted. I developed PTSD from it. This pain coupled with loneliness for feeling like no one would ever see me for me felt unbearable. I had 8 suicide attempts in the span of three years.
In grad school, my first relationship became abusive. I decided to detox my medication with pressure from him. I had a mental health relapse after our traumatic break up. Every day, I’m grateful I survived my assaults, suicide attempts, and that first relationship I had.
Society tells men not to respect women who look like me. Society tells people that I’m not intelligent because of the way I look. I have experienced sexual and physical violence done to me and my body. These societal narratives support violence against women. Violent men use these narratives to normalize and reason their harmful acts.
Objectification is when a person treats another person like an object instead of a person. For instance, if a woman is objectified she can be seen for her body or solely valued for her gender role that fits into a stereotype, oppressively boxing her in.
The violence done to me coupled with sexist, misogynistic narratives led me to believe that I was worthless and no one would ever love me. This is what I thought about when I attempted suicide, each time. The way we speak about people becomes their inner dialogue. I wouldn’t have considered taking my own life if violence and dehumanization wasn’t done to me first.
You may say words are just words, but this is not true. Hateful words can become a poison that erodes someone’s well-being or safety. What words are you using? Are you implying anyone is worthless or undeserving of happiness, love, or success because of what they look like or what they’ve been through. Some comments made me so self-conscious that I relapsed on an eating disorder. Words have power - to heal or to harm.
To those people who are put in danger because of harmful narratives- you deserve better. To those people who spread harmful narratives or believe anyone is worthless because of what they look like or what they’ve been through- do better.
What we do matters. We can use our voice to lift people up or to harm. Please choose to lift people up today 💕
Women are more than their bodies, we’re more than our curves, our worth in life is not in our relationship to men. Honestly, I used to let the way people treat me impact my self worth and it even caused me to starve myself and later make myself throw up when I thought I ate too much, but I know my self worth does not come from external validation but from my courage to pursue the things I love.
Here’s your reminder that you are bigger than the boxes people place you in, you are not the labels this world gives you, and you are stronger than what you face. I’m cheering for you.
If you’ve read this far, you’re my kind of person 🥰