Day in the life of an Indian tourist in Pattaya:
07:00 - Wake up on the beach, poop next to the birds
08:00 - Film local women during their morning workout routine
09:00 - Get arrested for sexual harassing a coconut vendor
10:00 - Enjoy free water and snacks at the police station
11:00 - Get released for pooping in the police station
12:00 - Spend the afternoon in a Mall, stare at women who buy underwear
17:00 - Pressure Indian restaurants to give you free food because youโre part of a higher caste
19:00 - Meet your friends at beach road, poop together on the beach
20:00 - Ask 100 freelancers for a discount. If one says โNoโ, call her โRacistโ
21:00 - Visit Walking Street, hold hands with other indian men, sexually harass Thai women
22:00 - Dance in front of an indian nightclub
23:00 - Get brutally beaten by Ladyboys
24:00 - Call police because the ladyboys stole your fake gold necklace
01:00 - End up as a news story
02:00 - Meet indian men at the beach, poop together and sleep.
Life in Pattaya is heaven on earth if youโre from India.