Gemma

i'm funny sometimes

[Gemma @PointIessTweet]

@OntheBeachUK Has provided the worst customer service that I’ve ever experienced. I highly recommend that all my tens of thousands of followers do not use their platform 👏🏻 #boycott

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My phone screen is brighter than my future

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We have grown up to be the people that our parents told us not to be

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Teacher: I haven't told anyone to pack up yet

*everyone packs up in slow motion*

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Are you from Europe? Because europiece of shit

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When you want them, they don't want you.
When they want you, you don't want them.

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How to get hot: Set yourself on fire

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Saying "ohhhhhh" even know you still don't have a clue what they are talking about

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Me: *Spells one letter wrong in password*

Me: *Deletes whole password to start again*

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Woman gives birth:

Woman: I think I'll name her Sara.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but that name's already taken.. May I suggest Sara89 or Sara_13?

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normal person: sings lyrics

me: sings lyrics
:sings backup vocals
:sings guitar riffs
:air-drums entire song
:headbangs

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parents: what foreign language class are you taking this year?
me: math

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how do people do back flips when i can't even successfully flip a pancake

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*drops food on floor*

germs: go get it! quick!

king germ: no.. we must wait 5 seconds.. it is the rule

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I get so worried when somebody tells me 'they have to speak to me'

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"I'm not a hipster, but I can make your hips stir"

I'm not water, but I'll fucking drown you.

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are you a slinky because i want to push you down the stairs

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I hate it when you talk to someone every minute, everyday for ages.. then they drop you & act as if they don't even know you

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Sometimes i wish i could be a goldfish & only have a 30 second memory so i don't have to remember the times i've been hurt

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I would much rather someone tell me they don't like me than be fake and bitch about me behind my back