Polyphemus

Just a humble shepherd

[Polyphemus @Polyphe21331537]

Look you guys I'm pretty sure they're pirates anyways. They came in on a fancy ship, broke into my house armed to the teeth, and tried to demand stuff from me???? No way in Hades am I just gonna hand them my stuff

[Polyphemus @Polyphe21331537]

Just found a bunch of people in my cave. They were spouting something about "fearing the gods" and "giving them gifts". Their little voices were annoying so I ate two of them. Saved the rest of later #MealPrepping

[Polyphemus @Polyphe21331537]

All I wanted was some dinner. Now I have no flock, no dinner, and no sight. All in all a massive L for ol' Poly

[Polyphemus @Polyphe21331537]

HE'S BACK. NOMAN IS BACK TO TAUNT ME MORE. He says his name is Odysseus, the man from the prophecy that Telemus warned me about. I tried to get him to come back, and even threw another rock, but they managed to escape. I'm gonna crush that little man #WorstDayEver

[Polyphemus @Polyphe21331537]

I don't know how, and I don't know when, but somehow those pesky humans got out of my cave and back to their big ship. I ALMOST hit them but I heard them row away. Knew I shouldn't have skipped arm day

[Polyphemus @Polyphe21331537]

What friends I have, wouldn't even help me squash my dinner! They called me crazy when I told them Noman stabbed me!

[Polyphemus @Polyphe21331537]

OW OW OW OW OW OW OWWWWWW NOMAN STABBED ME IN THE EYE. AURGHHHH. HAVE TO USE SPEECH TO TEXT TO EVEN TWEET THIS. #WORSTDINNEREVER

[Polyphemus @Polyphe21331537]

lil too mcuh wine, eyee feellin real sleepy, just dM'd my ex, thimk its time for bedd now. gooodniht

[Polyphemus @Polyphe21331537]

Yooooo dinner came with some great wine tonight! Starting to like this "Noman" guy, think I'm gonna save him for dessert.

[Polyphemus @Polyphe21331537]

Good morning twitter. Just started off the day with some leftovers from last night's dinner, you know how it is. Good thing my food can't open the door and run off #CantWaitForSupper

[Polyphemus @Polyphe21331537]

Just another day of tending to the goats #shepherdlife