Poop Update

A public Twitter account dedicated to descriptions, deep thoughts, poetry (especially haipu), and anything else that pertains to the time you spend pooping.

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

40 second fart - I swear to God

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

It sure is nice to have this extra light in the evening so I can see what i’m doing while I poop

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

Woke up feeling kinda crappy, drank some crappy coffee, saw at the crappy clouds, in a crappy mood almost all morning - and then POOP at 11:34AM - now the day looks like this: ☀️🥰🎉🍾🤗🌈🦄

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

Why does a Sunday morning poop always seem to be the most satisfying? #TheLordsDay #TheLordsPoop?

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

I have pooped 3 times today BEFORE getting to camp!! I think my body is attempting to purge before the coming onslaught of camp food!! “It’s the deep breath before the plunge.” - Gandalf
#EpiscoWiscoCamp

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

Well, I guess I’m not backed up any more! #SixthTimeToday

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

Check in with your fellow sitters tonight. Some may be stopped up tight, some may be uncomfortably loose. #SleepWellSitters

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

You ever have a sluggish and just sort of “meh” morning and then you poop and you’re like, “My GOD this is gonna be a great day!”
Does that - does that ever happen to you?

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

I’m too tired to poop and I didn’t know that was possible

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

Goes into church basement to poop in a peace filled and quiet setting…
Sees centipede crawling that could take on Godzilla and more than likely win…
Contemplates setting fire to bathroom stall…
Ends up clenching on the way to noisy bathroom on main level…
All is well but damn

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

Are Sunday morning poops the most cleansing because they’re on Sunday morning? #TheLordsDay

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

My car smells like pancakes. Also, I just pooped for the 3rd time today. This means I have more room for the pancakes that are currently in my car. #lifeisamystery

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

airport poops are never truly satisfying

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

I know this is poop update but we can talk about farts here too, right? Cuz OMG I ate something and as the Lord Baby Jesus is my witness I’m gonna suffocate from the wretched stench emerging from my body!

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

When you don’t have enough time before work to doo it properly, you end up dooing it on the clock.

#morningsitters #ontheclock #justdooit

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

There is a beauty in the stillness of morning. The quiet of nature anticipating the sunrise. There is not even wind to break the silence, until now.

#morningsitters

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

LOG another for today.

#eveningsitters

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

When you’re not up to squatting in the thicket, you get the throne. And much like royalty, there’s not much privacy. Choose wisely. #DontForgetTheTP

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

New camp, new Biffy! Super Biffy 2.0 has passed her inaugural passing and while she was tested to the fullest the plumbing flowed true! A most welcome good sign of what’s to come in the week ahead. Sit-on, fellow campers. Sit on… #strawberryfieldsforever.

[Poop Update @PoopYpdate23]

Garth Brooks said to let the thunder roll, but common sense says never to trust a fart. Decisions, decisions... #FartJokes