POP! - Pop Culture News and Facts

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[POP! - Pop Culture News and Facts @PopNewsNFacts]

Scientists have discovered a new body of water they are calling an "omega." This body of water resembles a delta but is not shaped like a triangle.

"May I help you?" said a hostess for Delta.

"You owe us $3k," said a representative from Delta Dental

Via: Delta Delta Delta Frat

[POP! - Pop Culture News and Facts @PopNewsNFacts]

BREAKING: US Treasury announces plan to cut all coinage!

"Who uses coins anymore?" said speaker of the house Mike Johnson. "I don't want that nasty metal in my pockets, get that sh*t out of here. I prefer good-ol cotton bills."

Via: Wells Fargo

[POP! - Pop Culture News and Facts @PopNewsNFacts]

Disney has just announced Planes 3 is now in production! It is set to release late in 2029.

"Literally who asked for this?" said every person we interviewed on the street.

Via: Disney Fast Pass & Co.

[POP! - Pop Culture News and Facts @PopNewsNFacts]

BREAKING: Historians have discovered that the Declaration of Independence was actually adopted in 1770, meaning the US turned 256 this year!

"Those liars should rot in hell!" said a spokesperson from America250. "Now we have to destroy all this merch!"

Via: The White House

[POP! - Pop Culture News and Facts @PopNewsNFacts]

We are receiving reports that fireworks have been SOLD OUT nation-wide as of September 12th. Our sources site "glorious celebrations" and "remembrance of life" as potential reasons.

"This is the third worst thing to ever happen in September!" said President Trump.

Via: TP USA

[POP! - Pop Culture News and Facts @PopNewsNFacts]

Communities around the US are FURIOUS that they cannot wear white after Labor Day!

"Why white?! Why can't it be any other color?!" said Texas resident Cleetus McGraw. "When the country wasn't WOKE I was able to wear all white head-to-toe any day of the year!"

Via: Fox News

[POP! - Pop Culture News and Facts @PopNewsNFacts]

JUST IN: Legendary QB Tom Brady has just signed with the NY Jets as starting QB! "I was itching for some ball handling, and they looked like they could use a hand," said Brady. "Plus, I don't even have to play my best to please them!"

His starting salary is $500m.

Via: NFL

[POP! - Pop Culture News and Facts @PopNewsNFacts]

Apple's new CEO: Tom Nook! After previous CEO Tim Cook's recent departure from the company, the new CEO has picked up the mantle that was once held by Steve Jobs himself. You may recognize Tom from his past work on Animal Crossing New Leaf on the Nintendo 3DS!

Via: iNews

[POP! - Pop Culture News and Facts @PopNewsNFacts]

We have just received rumors that Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man will appear in Avengers Doomsday!

"GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY WAY MOTHERF*CKERS!" said Maguire when we approached him for an interview. He declined to comment about the rumors.

Via: The Daily Bugle

[POP! - Pop Culture News and Facts @PopNewsNFacts]

A new law is being set that will ban all non-bootcut jeans! The Bootlicker Authority of America (BAA) has set forth a motion to, "ban all jeans that do not let the boots lick freely." The Bell Bottom Jeans Association (BBJA) has said they will fight this law.

Via: Old Navy

[POP! - Pop Culture News and Facts @PopNewsNFacts]

Artificial Intelligence is being sued by the WWF for its acronym being confused with "animal instinct"! The WWF's animal justices have sent a court order to artificial intelligence and are demanding they rebrand or else, "the Moose will destroy you".

Via: Bryce the Panda Esq.

[POP! - Pop Culture News and Facts @PopNewsNFacts]

GTA VI IS GETTING DELAYED AGAIN?!?!?

After many development hiccups, Rockstar Games has been forced to delay the game again to late 2027. "Sorry about that!" said Rockstar president Sam Houser. In somewhat related news pitchfork stock has skyrocketed, get yours now!

Via: Kotaku

[POP! - Pop Culture News and Facts @PopNewsNFacts]

SONIC IS BISEXUAL?!

SEGA has just announced that the sequel to Sonic X Shadow Generations will be titled "Sonic X Shadow". ESRB leaks have leaked the game will be rated PG-13 for, "depictions of intimate relationships."

Via: SammyClassicSonicFan

[POP! - Pop Culture News and Facts @PopNewsNFacts]

BREAKING: The NFT Movie from Paramount is now in production starring Chris Evans!

"We are proud to announce our new NFT movie will be releasing in late 2029!" stated Paramount CEO David Ellison. "Order tickets now to get in early on this exclusive club!"

Via: The Blockchain