Pope Corky the IX

What are you looking at?

Yeah, that's right.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

You know #FightFor15 is not enough when #Amazon is bragging about paying that much in their commercials.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

I really expected Kanye to pull off that mask and reveal it was Tracy Morgan doing a bit.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

Doctor Donda
Gimme the news
Ye’s got a bad case
Of hating Jews

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

You can look at things in the past. Not so much the future. Now? Look at it happening all around you.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

I guess it’s nice that I can still laugh at a former US President furiously typing “Do election over again!” on his phone with his little hands.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

Wait, that one dog had ninety-nine puppies? Holy shit.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

Maybe they should start with the guy that decided to go all in on a shitty version of Second Life.

Oh.

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

BREAKING: Facebook parent, $META, plans to begin laying off thousands of employees this week, per WSJ.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

Well, if nothing else, at least @elonmusk is getting rid of ads on Twitter.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

Mocking people for saying your incredibly stupid idea is incredibly stupid doesn’t seem like the best way to sell that idea to those same people. But what do I know? I’m not a self-described genius that builds exploding cars and inherited my wealth from racist parents.
#ELONMUSK

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

Elon Musk molests honey badgers.

There is a tiny possibility there might be more to this story than meets the eye.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

Well, I sure picked the absolute best time to come back to Twitter.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

This is like trying and failing to shit your pants.
@Meta #Meta

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

Tucker Carlson named his son Buckley. Buckley Carlson. Tucker and Buckley. Buckley and Tucker. Bucker and Tuckley. Tuckley and Bucker. We’re all going to die.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

Welcome to Conservative America where everything is made up and the votes don’t matter.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

@thedrivein Guy rang my doorbell, which means he let himself in with the front door key, and held up a stack of his mail, which means that he helped himself to my mailbox with that key.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

So the previous tenants of my apartment never turned in the keys. Ask me how I know!

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

This guy was the president. Really, no shit.

[Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski]

Most romantic wedding speech ever. Really makes it all about the happy couple: “The crowd was massive .. It’s been an honor to be your president. So many of my friends are in this room who happen to be Jewish. And they said no president has done more for Israel than I have.”

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

Apparently I’m at the age where I have no choice but to get to know my neighbors and have conversations with them as I enter and leave my apartment.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

@jedi_wayne75 @pattonoswalt Sorry, I stopped paying attention when you stopped trying to spell correctly. Thanks for the visit and enjoy the autumn weather.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

@jedi_wayne75 @pattonoswalt And if you’re going to bring up Carlin, he had an issue with the term “homeless” and suggested “houseless” instead. Unhoused is just a step away from that. But don’t let that stop you from stumbling your way through conversations you don’t understand.

[Pope Corky the IX @PopeCorkytheIX]

@jedi_wayne75 @pattonoswalt You realize the irony of tripping over yourself to do the whole “You probably…!” thing here, right?