Pope Francis

I'm busy. I'm having my pope bath.

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@ZODIAC_MF "Here's an incredible 35 step pain in the ass method to order a Whopper from McDonald's."

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@ZODIAC_MF May I remind you of the 14th Amendment's guarantee of birthright Switch ownership?

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@ZODIAC_MF Two people who have never used a camera in their life: the lady holding a twin-lens reflex camera with a top-down viewfinder out in front of her head, and the genius closing his eye that's behind the camera's viewfinder. It's the attention to detail that makes this really special

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@ZODIAC_MF Nuclear annihilation doesn't do it for people any more, so they moved it a full minute closer when the menthol cigarette ban was rescinded.

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@DrPopCultureUSA yes

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@DrPopCultureUSA Yes

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@ZODIAC_MF Serious person: "WTF did you know about those Wheaties when you picked them off the shelf, bee-yotch?"

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@Super70sSports If you squint, you can see a defeated Art Schlichter draped over the grandstands fence. Maybe you'll break even on the parlay with tonight's game, Artie! (this post has been sponsored by DraftKings)

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@ZODIAC_MF Someone buy Dan Marcus one of those daily affirmation desk calendars for Christmas. His mind will be blown for a year.

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@Super70sSports I think all teams should be able to bank runs gained in blowout games, to use at their discretion once per game in later games where they are behind. Down 3-1 in the 9th? Use 3 runs banked from last night's 7-0 win (originally 10-0). Game over. I call this The Golden Runs Rule.

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@ZODIAC_MF Most of the team's reponse has legitimately been "let he who hasn't been accused of treating dozens of women like they're in a rub and tug parlor cast the first stone"

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@MikeReissWriter They haven't quite nailed down the eleven secret herbs and spices yet.

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@psychotronica_ "I HAVE A PAIR"

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@ZODIAC_MF Imagining this guy going into a foaming rage when buying a car, blasting spittle into some hapless salesman's face. "What do you mean 'the sunroof package is extra'? That's THEFT!!"

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@ZODIAC_MF How else are witless Hitchcock fans supposed to know that Apple has determined that the goofiest boilerplate trash imaginable is actually right up their alley?

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@damnyouwillis Family Circus clown car

[Big Supernaturals @UweBollocks]

@1followernodad This looks like a matte painting from a Ren & Stimpy episode

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

@damnyouwillis Well, at least Mime Pekers appears to be enjoying his dementia.

[Pope Francis @PopeFlatus]

Never forget